Ship Hits Rough Waters "On the C"

It was a dark and stormy night. The Ship set out on the sea for a long voyage to a distant land. The storm clouds on the horizon foretold doom, but our intrepid adventurers forged ahead, determined to complete their mission and boldly go where no one has gone before.

The captains led the way in the first stage, winning the first two games of Singles 501. Jeremy waged a fierce battle, but was just edged out in the race to double "1", and Nikki ran into a raging torrent and was nearly washed overboard. But, with Fred's win, we were tied 3-3 going into Cricket. The stage was set with a split in the first game, but it proved to be the calm before the storm. Suddenly, the seas got rough and our little ship was tossed around in the fierce waves. The crew fought gallantly, but forces beyond their control seemed to take over. After eking out a split in the second game, we lost the final games, and were down 5-7 going into D501. At this point, the storm clouds broke open and the sea raged. We lost the first two D501 games, and it looked like the Ship might actually sink. But the crew rallied together, and fought back against the tumult. Nikki broke through with a double "2" to get on the board and a glimmer of hope emerged. Slowly but surely we fought back, and in the end we doubled out, making the final score 7-11. The storm passed and we made it through unscathed. Now on back to our home port, for another adventure.

Props:

Nikki - For cab fare.

Ship Imports a Win (and some Chips and Matches)

As Woody Allen once said "90% of life is just showing up." Of course, the other 10% is doubling out... and bull. So, because the Imports only exported 4 people for the match, we got 6 points on forfeits and coasted to a 12-6 victory.

But that recap hardly sums up the night, as there were many highlights despite the fact that there were relatively few games. First off, Nikki underscored the importance of showing up by notching a S501 win, a C3, and a D501 forfeit win in her first match of the season. [So off the schneid.] Plus, Holly and Rich kept their undefeated streak intact by scoring 2 more Cricket wins. And, Fred racked up 188 more AS points, surpassing his total for all of last season in only 3 weeks.

But the rooks really stole the show, with a huge win in D501 to close the night. While we were guaranteed an overall victory, we needed a win in the final game to score a huge moral victory. Jen stepped up and doubled in on her third dart to start things off, just ahead of the Imports, who doubled in on their next turn. You would have never known they were rookies, as Jen and Meredith then proceeded to knock down points like it was their j-o-b. Meredith then slammed the door shut in her first shot at doubling out.

And then, as has become our custom, we went out to a piano bar and sang "Sweet Caroline".

Props:

Fred - For passing Frank on the All-Star list.
Meredith / Jen - My heroes.

Fat Black Pussycat Crosses Ship's Path

Bad luck hung over the bar when we crossed the path of the Fat Black Pussycat. We were doomed when we had to walk under a ladder and step on a crack just to get inside the bar. So, it's no surprise that they beat us "13" to 5.

Rich knocked on wood and managed to pull out a win to start the match. We lost some tough matches after that, until Mindy showed up with her 4-leaf clover and scored a win in the final S501 match. In Cricket, Fred scored a C3 to win the opening match, and we managed to split the round 3-3. Searching for a lucky horseshoe, we juggled the lineup for D501. However, among some of the McDonald's runs, someone must have spilled some salt, because things went downhill from there. Fred/Jen and Holly/Mindy both had chances to win their D501 games, but got just edged out. And then I broke the mirror in the bathroom, leading to the unluckiest of all matches in which Meredith and I nearly had our midget tossed. Luckily, Meredith rubbed her rabbit's foot and managed to double-in just before they slammed the door in our face.

Someone remember to bring the Pink Hearts, Yellow Moons, Orange Stars, Green Clovers, Blue Diamonds, Purple Horseshoes and a Leprechaun for next week's home match against the Imports.

Props:

Fred - For likely maintaining his spot on the All-Star list.

Ship Sinks O'Hanlon's on Opening Day / Fred Ibarra makes the All-Star List

There is nothing like Opening Day. The excitement in the air, freshly cut grass on the field, a sense of hope and opportunity and the feeling that all things are possible. The young rookies getting their first taste of the show and the seasoned veterans hoping for one last shot at glory. And what really kicks ass is when you win, which we did.

While it took some time to get used to, the new lineup seems to be working for the squad. In an exciting game that went into the bottom of the ninth all tied up, we pulled out a 10-8 victory to kick off the Spring 2002 season. We tied each of the first two round 3-3, with Jen scoring a victory in her first game ever, and Rich / Holly sweeping Cricket to keep the match tied going into Doubles 501. And then, just like Kirk Gibson and Bobby Thomson, we knocked one out of the park to win it. And then, unlike Gibson and Thomson, we went out to a piano bar and sang "Sweet Caroline".

Props:

Holly - A sweep! She's a Yankee Doodle girl.
Meredith & Jen - Solid starts for the rookies, with 2 wins and 214 combined AS points.
New York Magazine - For bulletin board material.

The Final Countdown

Ahoy Shipmates,

Ted Williams homered in the final at-bat of his career. John Elway turned in an MVP performance and brought Denver a Super Bowl title in the final game of his career. Michael Jordan hit a 20-footer at the buzzer to give the Bulls a one-point victory and their sixth World Championship in his final.... Well, you get the idea. 

And in his final dart match Dave Levin went 4-0, accounted for 5 points, and scored a whopping 493 All-Star points, including a midget-tossing in the final game. If I hadn't blown the fuse, he would have shot the lights out.

We went into the night 2 points ahead of the Vicars, the last place team. Despite some solid play, our 8-10 loss put us in a tie for last place to end the season. In one sense, that is an improvement over last season, when we finished last. But in another, more accurate sense, it's pretty much the same.

Luckily every week was a lot of fun. I'm ready for next season. See you at Jeremy's for the BBQ.

Instead of Props, here's a few season ending stats for you (more later):

All-Star Points: Dave (1987), John (1338), Rich (1300)
Total Wins: Rich (22), Dave (20), Fred (16)
S501 Wins: Fred (6), Mindy (5), Rich (5)
Cricket Wins: Dave (11), Rich (10), Fred/Holly (8)
D501 Wins: Rich (7), Dave (5), Holly (3)

Holly's Birthday

Ahoy Shipmates,
 

Christmas came early (or Hanukkah came late, or Holly's Birthday came right on time) for the squad this year, as we gave ourselves a big present with a 12-6 win last night.

Proving some days are better than others, we used our mysterious ways to make it a beautiful day. Though they were without Bono and the midget, we dulled The Edge, playing with pride and desire by taking 4 points in each round. Mindy & Nikki, you two played great, accounting for 9 of our points. And Dave & John, we proved we can win with or without you. But the sweetest thing was Holly winning S501, 1 of 2 in Cricket and D501.

Props:

Holly Oakes - HO-HO-HO
Jeremy - For the post-match Triple-In, Triple-Out.

No games on X-Mas, and Jan 8 is a BYE. Next (and last) match is Jan 15 vs the Skating Vicars @ SOF. Let's beat them because they still have a stupid name.

Solid

Shipmates,

Sorry this is late, my Thrax was acting up today. Plus, since everyone was there, I figured you all knew what happened.

Anyway, solid match against a good team. In fact, if we played that way against the bad teams, we'd be solid.

We split the first 2 rounds, so we were tied 6-6 going into Doubles 501. Holly and Dave closed out the first game with a solid win. We needed one of the 2 last games to take the night, but we weren't able to close it out.

So, we took 7 points from the #1 team in the league and 8 points from the #2 team. Not bad at all.

Props:

Holly: Solid finish in 501D
Nikki: 184 AS points + a win in 501S. So off the schneid.

See you next week at SOF.

Pick One

Hey,
Lost 15-3. I don't know exactly what happened, but feel free to choose any of these.

Props:

Fred & Nikki - For volunteering to play in the Singles event next week at A&M Roadhouse. (If you a) have Thrax, b) have Soccer, or c) have both, let me know and I'll try to convince someone else to go.)

See you on the 11th at SOF (vs. Kowalski and Marissa).

An Ode To The Ship

Shipmates,

For your reading enjoyment, this week I give you An Ode To The Ship.

In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
In 2001, Dave came back from three straight Ton.
Playing the Roadhouse is always a blast
Even though they're in first and we're in last.

Although we didn't make them cry
We sure as hell gave it a try.
Meredith came by to watch and cheer
And she also managed to drink a beer.

Her actions do not go unsung
'Cause she also slipped Holly some tongue.
After Singles 501 we were tied
Proving Nikki is off the schneid.

After Cricket we were down by only two
You could almost hear their 'boo-hoo'.
In Doubles 501 there was no doubt
We Doubled-In but couldn't Double-Out.

But the last game was ended by Dave Levin
So we lost a close one Eleven to Seven.
A&M was worried for a reason
We scored more against them than any one else this season.

We played them tough, they know who we are
Damn, the six of us nearly closed that bar.
We even left a nice big tip
Have a happy Thanksgiving, Full of Ship.

Props:
The Squad - For being tenacious, and then sticking around and drinking until after 2.

Next week: Our last away game this season, vs the Imports at AJ Kelly's, 6 Stone Street (so far south we'll need passports to go there)

John's Blondes

Ahoy Shipmates,
 

While some of us were off gallivanting with whipped cream and midgets, the rest of the squad had some work to do back at SOF. In front of a friendly home crowd and a parade of John's Blondes, we put on quite a show in what was easily the most exciting match of the season to date.

In two rounds of close matches, we split both Singles 501 and Cricket 3-3, so Doubles 501 would decide the night. We got out to leads in both of the first 2 matches, and things looked good. But, in each game we just got caught on double-out. In the last match, Rich/Dave went up against Matt/Jose, which was not promising. Even though they doubled-in before us and Jose scored a Ton after doing a shot, we managed to pull a win out of our ass by sneaking out from 46.

Next week we play at A&M Roadhouse (57 Murray St), which should be fun.

Props:

Nikki - For finally getting off the schneid.
Holly - For playing excellent darts (2 for 3 and a C3)
Rich - For carrying Dave like a loaf of bread.

Seasick

Ahoy Shipmates,
 

Our long voyage has nearly come to an end, but the seas have been rough. So rough, in fact, that your captain caught a touch of seasickness.

Our last port of call was very inviting, and we played another one of our patented tenacious matches. After a close round of Singles 501, we caught some wind in our sails during Cricket, winning an unprecedented 4 of 6 games (including 2 great games from Fred/Mindy). But the landlubbers sank our battleship in Doubles 501, sweeping all 3 games and winning the night 12-6.

Next week we drop anchor back at the Ship, against Finnerty's, where we will show them what a real projection TV looks like. Rest up, drink some OJ, and get your sea legs. With a healthy squad we are ready to bust out.

Props:

Fred - Whose Iron Man streak came to an end, and for yeoman's work playing singles in Doubles 501.
John - For coming out while suffering from a nasty case of scurvy.
Dave - Simply en fuego.

The Big Game

The bar was packed and there was excitement in the air for the big game. It seemed like everyone was there, and all our attention was focused on the game. At first it looked bad for our team, as they jumped out to a big lead. It seemed like it wasn't going to be our night. But, as if by a miracle, things changed and we got ourselves back in the game. And then, in an exciting finish, Alfonso Soriano won the game by knocking in Chuck Knoblauch in the 12th. 

In other news, we lost 12-6. We had a good chance of pulling out a tie at the end, but we lost some tough 501-Doubles matches at the end.

Props:

Fred & Mindy - These two scored 5 of our 6 points. 'Nuff said.

Next week, the road-trip continues against:
The Skating Vicars
Bullshead Tavern - 295 3rd Ave bet. 20th & 21st

Let's beat them because they have a stupid name.

Guest Post

I'm sure you've all been waiting for my attempt at matching the wit and humor of previous re-caps. I'm sorry the wrap-up was delayed but I was recovering yesterday from too many pitchers of Stella Artois.  So, without further ado... 

This week should be coined the week of missed opportunity. We started off well by splitting the Singles 501 matches 3-3. Cricket was simply awful as we went 0 and 6, although Dave/Jeremy and Mindy/Fred both had close matches (Wish I could say the same for us, John!). As usual, we began our normal late charge to victory, thanks to late appearance by our captain and two Doubles 501 game victories by Dave/John and Rich/Mindy. Jeremy and I had the chance to even things up but after an easy in, we had too many rounds of "Circle it!" type scoring. In the end, the final score was 11-7. And, the worst part was, we didn't get to kick midget ass as he's apparently been cut from the team.

I'll refrain from handing out props but special credit for Rich since he did end up making it all the way downtown after his dinner.

Next week, we're off Tuesday with our bye week.   However, don't forget we've got our Week 1 make-up match on Thursday, 11/1/01 at Finnerty's (108 Third Avenue).   

Look forward to seeing you all there - I know you'll be happy to have Rich's reports back next week!

One Word

One word is all we need to sum up last night, and that word is: Fucking Frustrating.

Ground Zero is the best team in the league (based on their unsubmitted score from week 2), so we were up against serious competition. And despite crowded conditions and my rotten scheduling, we put up one hell of a fight. If a few darts had fallen our way, we could have won the night, but as it is we lost 3-15.

We were in every singles 501 game, and walked away with 2 of them. We played some great cricket, but they scored a total of 5 R5's and 1 C3 across all matches, which is very tough to compete against. In doubles 501, we played excellent. Dave/Nikki and Rich/Fred both got out to commanding leads, but losing to a 65-Out is just plain frustrating, as was the final game in which we had a bunch of chances to double out but didn't convert. If we keep throwing like we did last night, we will win most weeks. Even Kowalski said that it was a tough night for them.

At least Jeremy is off the hook, as this disproves the theory that we can only win without him.

Props:

Dave - For throwing a William Tell
Braley - For throwing a William Tell last week

Next week is Doubles Competition, and John and I will represent, so enjoy the week off.

Next game is Oct. 23rd at The Edge (95 East 3rd Street @ 1st Ave). Be prepared to toss a midget.

Swab The Decks

Swab the decks all you want, Shipmates, but you won't be able to wash the sweet stank of victory off you this week.

It was a rollercoaster ride, but we exported the Imports and racked up our first team W of the season. An unprecedented showing in singles 501 (4 W's) and cricket (4 W's) gave us a huge cushion. We had a chance to blow them out of the water, but they gave us a taste of our own medicine by coming on strong in doubles 501, taking the first 2 games.

In what was a microcosm of the whole night, Fred and Rich nearly "tossed the midget" in the final game of 501. But the commanding lead evaporated and it became a close contest, when the Imports got in with a Ton. But in the end, we managed to double out and secure the FOS victory for the night.

Props:

The Squad - For a big win.
Jeremy - For not showing up.
Darian - For apparently wishing for a miracle on her birthday.

Next week we play Jen Kowalski and Marissa of the unfortunately named "Ground Zero" at O'Hanlon's Bar on 349 East 14th Street (@ 1st Ave).

See you then.