The Fool Has Learned The Game

"By the time the fool has learned the game, the players have dispersed." -- African Proverb

Welcome back, Ship, for another go 'round on this crazy darts ride.  This season we are kickin' it old school, with a roster that harkens back to some of our very first seasons.  So, with eight years and 15 seasons under our belts, it's time to see how much of this game we have learned.

The night took a little while to kick into gear, but we had to pity the opponent, because they only had three players.  This would  prove to be a big advantage for The Ship.  Rich started things off right with a sweep, and Andrew and Mindy followed with splits.  John took two forfeit wins in the last game, and The Ship was off and running with a 6-2 lead.

Andrew / John opened Cricket with a split, and Mindy / Rich capitalized on their Canadian match with a sweep.  D501 played out similarly, with Mindy / Andrew winning their Canadian match-up and Rich / John earning a split.  Overall, a solid 12-4 "wind-aided" win for The Ship.  Still too early to tell, but maybe we have learned this game after all....

Props:
John - For the theme, and 4 wins while downing half of Idaho.
Andrew - For 4 wins with new darts.
Mindy  - For 5 wins while updating Facebook.
Rich - For 5 wins, while accepting last season's Shippy Award.  (more on this season's contest to follow...)

Really??!?!

So Ship, you play darts every week, and you're surprised you end up in seedy, sketchy bars?  Really??!?  That's like stopping off at a crack house and being surprised it's in a bad neighborhood.  Really.

And you play darts one day a week, every other week, and you are surprised you are getting beat by people that play every day? Really??!?  That's like challenging Paula Abdul to a crazy contest.  You do it once, she does it EVERY day.  You have no chance.  Really.

OK, mine suck, but enjoy the SNL ones.  (and one more, just for Dave.  Really!??!)

Rich split the opener, but John kicked of his big night with two wins.  Really!!?!  Darian also earned a split, but Fred dropped both games in his round.  Really?  He gave up a room full of sugar-daddy bankers for this??  After all was said and done, though, The Ship was holding close at 4-4.

Do we really need to play Cricket every week?  Really??!?  Just for kicks, Rich / Fred played the first round, and lost all three games.  And to balance things out, Darian / John dropped all three in the second round.  It's possible that The Ship was improperly weighted due to an abundance of fries and wraps, but really, we might just be really bad at Cricket.

D501 gave us a chance to get back in the match, and Fred / John took one of two to get us started.  Rich / Darian ended the night with a split, as well, and The Ship walked away with 6 points for the night.

Props:
John - Really!!!  A monster night, winning three and dominating the Shippy.

Weekly Shippy Points (YTD Standings)

Player	Points	Notes
John	36	36 points in S501*, 0 points in Cricket, 12 points in D501
Fred	21	12 points in S501, 0 points in Cricket, 21 points in D501*
Darian	12	12 points in S501, 0 points in Cricket, 9 points in D501
Rich	12	12 points in S501, 12 points in Cricket*, 12 points in D501
* High Throw in Round

The Writing On The Wall

As we have already established, I've been at this re-cap writing for some time.  So I hope you will trust me when I say that this week's match was, quite literally, nothing to write home about.  As dart matches go, there wasn't too much of interest.  It was a fairly run-of-the-mill match.  As a team, we threw good darts, but it was definitely one of those nights where things just didn't fall our way.

Rich won the first game of the night, but his opponent acted like a prima donna and complained about the scoring, the atmosphere, the lights, the shadows, etc, setting the tone for the night.  The Ship then dropped the next seven games in a row, and we were down 7-1 after S501.

Mindy / Darian delivered a win in their second game of Cricket, as they piled on points and steamrolled to victory in one of their three games.  But Rich / John were swept to finish Cricket.  And, with sweeps in both games of D501, Mindy / Darian's Cricket win ended up being our final point of the night, and the match ended in a 16-2 loss for The Ship.

For me, darts has never been about the opponents we play.  In general, I consider the other teams a necessary evil that I need to put up with, in exchange for a weekly night out with The Ship.  Let's hope the annoying drunks, preening punks, whining boozers and big losers don't make that tradeoff unmanageable.

Props:
Mindy - For half of the points on the night, and for putting up with more than she should have had to.

Weekly Shippy Points (YTD Standings)

Player	Points	Notes
Darian	16	12 points in S501*, 16 points in Cricket*, 3 points in D501
Mindy	15	0 points in S501, 8 points in Cricket, 15 points in D501*
Rich	12	12 points in S501, 12 points in Cricket*, 3 points in D501
John	3	0 points in S501, 0 points in Cricket, 3 points in D501
* High Throw in Round

Full of Ship and The Case of The Missing Points

A bar full of darts players...

A pile of nachos...

Missing bullseyes...

A bucket of nails...

And an eyewitness who's legally blind!

There was more to the Bullpen Bar in Idaville than meets the eye.  To passersby, it looks like a normal bar, with TV sets, piles of nachos and bar stools.  But this bar had a secret.  As The Ship hunted around inside The Tigers clubhouse for a win this week, a strange mystery arose.  Who had taken The Ship's points, and why?

The curious events unfolded early, as Rich and John both were completely puzzled at their complete lack of points in their opening games.  However, in a twist to the case, Fred was able to uncover a single point, as was the newly-added-to-the-roster Leroy "Darian" Levin.  The Ship had two wins, but was on the lookout for its other missing four points.

Things looked bad, as Fred / John were conned out of all of their points in the opener of Cricket by the formidable team of Bugs Meany / Wilford Wiggins.  Rich / EB closed their eyes and thought deeply, in order to crack the case of the Tricky Cricket, and capture a single point.  But it was going to take a lot of sleuthing for The Ship to come back from its 11-3 deficit.

Not even Sally Kimball could have saved The Ship in D501, as Fred / EB dropped the first two games, followed by Rich / John completely dropping the case.  But suddenly, as the night was coming to an end, Encyclopedia stood up. "I don't think The Ship should go just yet. They did not lose this match 15-3!" WHAT DID ENCYCLOPEDIA KNOW THAT WOULD HAVE CHANGED THE SCORE?"

For the answer to this story, turn to page 76.

Props:
Darian - For dominating in darts (2 wins, leader in Shippy points), as well as demonstrating her EB-ness, all in her first week back.
Rich / John / Fred - For dominating the nachos.

Weekly Shippy Points (YTD Standings)

Player	Points	Notes
Darian	24	24 points in S501*, 8 points in Cricket, 6 points in D501
Fred	18	12 points in S501, 0 points in Cricket, 3 points in D501 + 6 points for ending up "In"
Rich	10	0 points in S501, 4 points in Cricket, 0 points in D501 + 6 points for ending up "In"
John	3	0 points in S501, 0 points in Cricket, 3 points in D501
* High Throw in Round

So, What's New?

It's only been a few weeks since we last spoke.  Let's take a look at a quick recap of what has happened since our last game. Well, the last time The Ship played, the United States had never elected an African American President.  The last time we played, a TARP was just something to cover a baseball field in the rain. The last time we played, American Express was not a bank.  The last time we played, the New York Jets were not in first place.  So, not much news, I guess.  Let's get on with the recap.

We started late this week, but things looked just peachy at the outset.  Rich locked-in two wins right off the bat.  Then Mindy posted a win in her first game, and notched a Ton-40, which would hold up as the high throw of the round.  But Mindy dropped game two, and then John and Dave both got swept, leaving The Ship down 5-3 after S501.

We've covered that there has been quite some change in the world over the past few weeks.  But it is somewhat comforting to know that some things don't ever change.  Those simple things that you can always go back to, the constants in life that center us, give us a sense of calm in the heart of the swirling storm.  For me, the fact that The Ship consistently gets spanked in Cricket is as comforting as an old pair of jeans.  Rich / Dave played their guts out in the first round, and still only managed to take one game out of three.  Mindy / John also threw tremendous games, but they too were limited to one win, and The Ship was facing a Dolly Parton down 9-5.  

Although it's been a long time, I have to admit I still can't freakin' believe that Rich / Dave lost both games to start D501.  I mean, I just know we played better than that.  Well, I guess it has been a week of tough defeats.  Anyway,  Mindy / John stepped up and won their first game before dropping the finale.  At the end of the night, The Ship has only managed 6 electoral votes to 12 for Biddy's, handing a bitter defeat to the incumbents.  Luckily, we don't need to wait another four years before we get a chance to redeem ourselves.

Props:
Mindy - Leading the team in Shippy points, and in on 3 of our 6 wins.

Weekly Shippy Points (YTD Standings)

Player	Points	Notes
Mindy	24	24 points in S501*, 4 points in Cricket, 12 points in D501
Rich	24	24 points in S501, 4 points in Cricket, 6 points in D501
John	20	0 points in S501, 20 points in Cricket*, 9 points in D501
Dave	8	0 points in S501, 8 points in Cricket, 0 points in D501
* High Throw in Round

What is Past is Pologe

No game this week, as Pologe (whatever the heck that means), dropped out of the league. Instead, some Pologe-inspired quotes:

• Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. {William Congreve}
• A popular government without popular information or the means of acquiring it, is but a prologue to a farce, or a tragedy, or perhaps both. {James Madison}
• We all were sea-swallow'd, though some cast again, And by that destiny to perform an act Whereof what's past is prologue, what to come In yours and my discharge. {William Shakespeare, The Tempest: Act II, Scene 1}

Let's hope the season to date is prologue to the glory that will come in the second half.

Race To The Finish

This week, the race was on.  The Ship was out in full force, and was ready to count all night long.  With a healthy combination of darts competition, vigorous debate and meat sandwiches, it was a good night to play.

Rich started the race in a strong way, posting two wins, a first-dart-out, and a win in twelve rounds.  The twelve rounds set the bar for the night, and gave The Ship something to shoot for.  Fred followed with two strong games, including a high throw for the round of 133, but somehow did not score a win.  Dave also dropped two games against the buzz saw that is Gloria.  Michael rounded things out with a split (and a twelve rounder to tie the low for the night), and The Ship found itself down 5-3 after S501. 

Rich / Fred battled to open Cricket.  Game one yielded a win for The Ship, but Rich / Fred found themselves behind on points early in games two and three, and they were unable to surmount the obstacles.  The season's top pairing to date, Michael / Mindy, also played well and earned one win.  At this point, The Ship was well fed, but down 9-5.

Dave / Mindy kicked off D501 with a split, and Rich / Michael followed up with the same, making the final score an 11-7 loss for The Ship.

Props:
Rich - Four wins and enough Shippy points to tie Michael. 

Weekly Shippy Points (YTD Standings)

Player	Points	Notes
Rich	36	24 points in S501, 16 points in Cricket*, 12 points in D501 + 6 points for First Dart Out and 6 points for Race to The Basement
Michael	27	12 points in S501, 4 points in Cricket, 21 points in D501* + 6 points for Race to The Basement
Mindy	15	4 points in Cricket, 15 points in D501
Fred	12	12 points in S501*, 4 points in Cricket
Dave	0	0 points in S501, 6 points in D501
Andrew	0	DNP
John	0	DNP
Darian	0	DNP
* High Throw in Round

Last Man Standing

Eliminator.  It is an event that is not for the faint of heart.  It is an event so ruthless and unforgiving that only the strongest can survive.  It is an event that has been known to make the strongest players crumble in its wake.  Just the thought of Eliminator can bring grown men and women to their knees.  And tonight, The Ship faced down the Eliminator in a showdown for the ages.

Rich started the night off strong, mowing through two S501 wins with almost no problems.  But S501 is a cakewalk compared to Eliminator, and it showed, as Rich's breakfast tossed him from the competition early.  Andrew followed with two losses, including a throw under 10 points, as Eliminator claimed another victim.  Michael split his games, and slid through without getting eliminated.  Fred posted two wins and advanced on, as well.  The Ship ended S501 with a 5-3 lead and three players still eligible for the bonus points.

Michael / Mindy continued their dominant run in Cricket, with two wins out of the box.  But Mindy was not able to escape the treacherous clutches, and she was eliminated.  Rich / Andrew played an uninspired round and dropped all three games, which dropped The Ship back in to a 7-7 tie for the night.

Andrew / Fred dropped both ends of the D501 opener, which also included Fred's elimination.  So, the night came down to the final match, with Rich / Michael needing two wins to secure a tie for The Ship.  And Michael was looking to deliver his own birthday present of 10 Shippy bonus points, if he could continue to escape the jaws of the Eliminator.  Michael made it through the first game unscathed, as The Ship got the first win.  The second game was a little more shaky, but both teams were in in right down to the wire.  But, on his last throw of the night, Michael threw a five / one / bounce out for six points and an elimination.  Rich / Michael went on to drop the game, making the final score a 108-8 loss for The Ship.  So, Eliminator claimed five victims on this night, and no bonus points were awarded.

Props:
Fred - Two wins and strong play in his season debut.
Darian & Michael - Happy Birthday!  

 

Weekly Shippy Points (YTD Standings)

Player	Points	Notes
Michael	24	24 points in S501*, 24 points in Cricket*, 30 points in D501*
Rich	24	24 points in S501, 12 points in Cricket*, 15 points in D501
Fred	24	24 points in S501, 3 points in D501
Mindy	12	12 points in Cricket
Andrew	3	0 points in S501, 0 points in Cricket, 3 points in D501 (D-In)
John	0	DNP
Dave	0	DNP
Darian	0	DNP
* High Throw in Round (Rich & Michael tied for high AS in Cricket with R5s)

And They're Off...

After a leisurely practice session during the off week, the season finally got underway.  With the The Spar At The Bar trophy in the house, The Ship was doubly excited to get things going.  And to start our 16th season, we hit the ground running.  

Rich kicked off the season against a tough player in what was hyped as a potential point-fest.  Rich earned a split, and managed a Ton-05, which would hold up and deliver 12 Shippy points as the top throw of the round.  Michael and Andrew also earned splits, but the big round went to Mindy, who won both games, giving her a Shippy round of 24 points.  Out to an early 5-3 lead, The Ship was feeling strong in its return to play.  

The new off-season training regimen for The Ship was proven effective in Cricket.  Last season, Cricket struggled through Cricket, winning less than 40% of their games.  But this week, Michael / Mindy started things off by taking two of three rounds.  Rich / John followed up by also winning two of three.  Two wins meant everyone earned 12 Shippy points, and Michael's C4  put him over the top with 24 points.  With four wins, The Ship found itself up 9-5 after Cricket.

Michael / John kept the momentum going in D501 with a sweep in two games.  They each split the double-ins, and Michael had both double-outs.  Rich / Andrew split their games, with Rich getting in twice and out once.  The three wins gave The Ship a 12-6 win, which is very nice for the first week back.

Props:
Andrew - For special achievement in award innovation and sound editing.  

 

Weekly Shippy Points (YTD Standings)

Player	Points	Notes
Michael	33	12 points in S501, 24 points in Cricket*, 30 points in D501*
Mindy	24	24 points in S501, 12 points in Cricket
Rich	24	24 points in S501*, 12 points in Cricket, 15 points in D501
John	15	12 points in Cricket, 15 points in D501
Andrew	12	12 points in S501, 6 points in D501
Fred	0	DNP
Dave	0	DNP
Darian	0	DNP
* High Throw in Round

Let's Get Ready to Rumble...

Welcome back, Ship.  It's good to be back at The Ship, and good to be back on Tuesdays. 

The big news for the year is the launch of "The Spar At The Bar" aka "The Jockey at The Oche" aka "The Bizzle for the Crystal".

Yes, this season we launch the competition for "The Shippy".  Join us each week for updates, breaking news, announcements all all of the action.

And for the record, this was a Bye week.  See you for Week 2.