A Foolish Consistency

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A Fool At Least Once a Month

"The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month." -- Fyodor Dostoevsky

In my opinion, The Ship is the cleverest of all, because we throw darts at least once a week.  Unfortunately, we have only been winning matches about once a month.  It seems like it's been a year since I have written, but hopefully this write-up will let you see The Ship more clearly, love The Ship more dearly, and follow The Ship more nearly, day by day by day.

In an instant, things got started on a good note, as Rich won the first game of the night.  But, like sands through the hourglass, the games ticked away and The Ship could not find another win in S501.

After what seemed like eons, The Ship scored a win in the opener of Cricket from Fred / Mindy. But Rich / John were unable to post a win, and The Ship had fallen hours behind in the race that is darts, down a 10-2 hole.

Rich / Mindy only took a minute to win the first game of D501.  Fred / John ended the long night with a win, but the night ended at four to twelve for The Ship.

Props:
Mindy - For tracking the Shippy, and taking the lead.

A Fool at Forty

"Be wise with speed; a fool at forty is a fool indeed." -- Edward Young

As the wise old masters of the NYDO, The Ship has seen it all when it comes to darts.  As we approach forty, we happily pass along the accumulated wisdom of the ages to other darters.  Whether it is a quick tip on simple math, or the genesis of dart terms, or the best double-out option, we are quick to help out.  But just when we think we've seen it all, along comes something new, like a one-armed player, which even we are not sure how to handle.

Rich got us out of the blocks slowly with a split, but Andrew and John both quickly picked up speed with two sweeps.  Dave pulled the One-Armed Bandit in the final game, and got unlucky as he dropped both.  But, The Ship had sprinted out to an early 5-3 lead.

When it comes to Cricket, even the wisdom of Mitch Cumstein cannot help out The Ship.  Rich / Andrew only managed a split in the opener, despite leading both games early on.  But Dave / John were again framed by the one-armed man, and they dropped both games, and the match was now tied 6-6.

Dave / John went back out to start D501, and finally defeated One Arm Joe.  Rich / Andrew also split their final two games, and The Ship ended a long night with an 8-8 tie.  Which is lucky, in Haiti.  How 'bout a Fresca?

Props:
Fred - Not yet a fool, but only a year away.

You Must Not Fool Yourself

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." -- Richard Feynman 

When in doubt, go back to first principles.  Try as they might, teams can't fool The Ship.  And The Ship doesn't fool itself.  If nothing else, Full of Ship has never been full of ship.  Anyway, let me give you the full gist of fullness that was The Ship, to the fullest.

John started the night this week, and pulled a split to start.  Rich followed with two wins, but he was just fooling himself, as we'll see later.  Andrew began his onslaught of AS points with 225 in his games, plus a split.  Darian gave The Ship another split, and we were off to a 5-3 lead after S501.

The Ship can't fool anyone in Cricket, and this week was more of the same.  Andrew / John split the first two games, and Rich / Darian split the second two, as the wheels inexplicable fell off in the second game.  Still, The Ship was up 7-5 after Cricket.

Rich / Darian continued their slide into D501, dropping both games to start things off.  But John / Andrew came through with a sweep of the last two games, giving The Ship a 9-7 win for the night.

Props:
Andrew - Four wins, and all of the Ship's AS points for the night (350).

A Fool And a Thief

"In every bet, there is a fool and a thief." -- Anonymous

I have no idea how that quote is anonymous, since I'm pretty sure everyone who goes to Vegas has said the same thing.  Well, if I was gambling man, I would have pegged this week as a sure thing for The Ship.  Coming off a good night last week, with nearly the whole squad on board, in a bar that provides about as much of a home field advantage as you can get without being at SOF... all things pointed to taking The Ship and laying the points.  But look out, you never know when a long shot is going to pull an upset.

Fred started things off in a game that was circled by the Book, earning a split to start the night.  In bowling, a split hurts, but in darts it's not so bad.  Andrew followed up with another split, and in the hot game of the night Mindy also had a split for a third push for The Ship. In the last round, Rich failed to cover, dropping both games and leaving The Ship down 5-3 after S501.

The Ship is typically a dog in Cricket, and the opening line reflected it.  When Rich / Dave dropped the first two games and Andrew / Mindy dropped the second two, the wrong bettors who went against The Ship were paid off in spades.  With The Ship down 9-3 after Cricket, there were gamblers ripping up their tickets all over the place.

Heading in to D501, we were more than 15 lengths back and needed a miracle comeback to just make things close.  Darian / Mindy jumped out to a huge lead in their first game, but couldn't close the door.  When they dropped game two, it looked like The Ship was down for the count.  But Rich / Andrew won the first game taking out a 69 (triple-19, double-6) and game two with a good old fashioned 32-out.  The two win parley helped  offset some of the losses, but only earned The Ship an 11-5 loss for the night.  If you took The Ship and 5.5 points... you lost!

Props:
Andrew - A thief, with three wins.
Rich - A fool, with 530 AS points.
Kris - Good luck on the move!!

And Another Woman Makes A Fool Of Him

"A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes." -- Robert Frost 

Some players spend years honing their darts skills...and it takes Mindy twenty minutes to make fools of them.  With a brand new board and anew year of The Shippy, it was a new start for The Ship, as we put our years of experience to work and played our wild tarot card.  

The Ship started out strong, with a split from Rich followed by a sweep from Andrew.  But the match quickly tightened up at 4-4 as John split and Mindy dropped two games.  But, Mindy's Ton-33 was a sign of what was to come, and secured her the high AS score for the round.

Rich / Andrew opened Cricket with a split, and John / Mindy split their two games, as well.  But once again, Mindy threw the high As for the round with an R6.

Mindy / John came back to start D501, and Mindy made fools of the competition by putting up two wins, and throwing another 92 As points in for good measure.  Rich / Andrew closed out the night with a split, and The Ship wound up with a 9-7 win.  The first step in turning this season around, and making some fools.

Props:
Mindy - 345 AS points, 20 Shippys, three wins and a dominating performance.
Dave - Birthday props.

And A Fool If He Doesn't Afterward

"A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn't afterward." -- Frank Lloyd Wright

I'd like to amend the above quote to say that The Ship is a fool if it drinks before Cricket, and a fool if it doesn't drink when it is down 11-1 afterward. To be fair, at the age of 50, Frank Lloyd Wright had a servant burn his house down and kill seven people with an axe, got divorced, re-married a morphine addict, got divorced again, got re-married, had his house burn down again, was charged with human trafficking under the Mann Act, and eventually died.  But in comparison, I'd say this week's match for The Ship was about equal.

Despite the cozy environs of the Crowe's Nest, things started off a little tenuous as Rich dropped the first game in an old-fashioned C-league double-one desperation match.  Rich came back with a win in game two, but pretty quickly The Ship  dug itself a hole deeper than the Second Avenue subway being built right outside.  Andrew threw a heap of AS points in his games, but dropped both.  John followed by getting swept, and Darian also dropped two in her inaugural game of the season.  The Ship was quickly down 7-1 and looking for a bracer.

When Cricket came around, we needed a whole bunch of Grasshoppers, and possibly a few tequila worms.  Rich / Darian were swept in the first round, and John / Andrew were swept in the second round.  Suddenly it was a dark and stormy night, and we were looking for a few Dark and Stormies.

Even having the entire Levin household on hand couldn't clear our heads, although it helped a little.  Rich / Dave managed a win in the first game of D501 before losing the second.  Andrew / John ended the night dropping the last two, and making the final score a 14-2 Ship loss.  Ugh.  I need a drink.

Props:
Andrew - For the last 340 AS points those darts will ever see.

And Fool Reform

"Tomorrow is the day when idlers work, and fool reform, and mortal men lay hold on heaven." -- Andrew Young


BYE week. See below for next update.

An Ordinary Fool

"Whatever talents I possess may suddenly diminish or suddenly increase. I can with ease become an ordinary fool. I may be one now. But it doesn't do to upset one's own vanity." -- Dylan Thomas

There is nothing like a game of darts to upset one's own vanity.  One minute you are on the top of your game and the bullseye is as big as a saucer, and the next minute you can't hit a double to save your life.  Jet lag, karma, rust, or bad lighting.  Who knows why, but some nights the darts are falling, and some nights the darts are not.  Unfortunately for The Ship, this was one of those nights.

We knew it would be a long night early on.  Rich started out with a runaway win, and then jumped out to a big lead in game two.  But, unable to close it out, he dropped the second game.  Andrew turned things around briefly for The Ship, by pulling off a sweep.  Fred and John followed with splits to round out S501 and put The Ship up 5-3 early.  But, maybe it was the elves, but things just didn't seem right.

Rich / Mindy started out Cricket with a come back win, despite having held a sizeable lead to start things out.  And right about this point on the night... The Ship's talents suddenly diminished.  There was bad strategy which led to a loss in game two for Rich / Mindy, despite out playing and out bulling the competition.  There were tough losses, as Fred / Andrew were swept in two close games to end Cricket, making the score 6-6 after the second round.

And then there was complete misfortune.  John / Fred were swept in the start of D501.  And in the second round, needing two Ship wins to just tie the night, Rich / Andrew dropped both games.  Ugh.  So, we ended with a 10-6 loss.  But, it doesn't do to upset one's vanity.  So we will be back next time, and I look forward to our talents will suddenly increasing.

Props:
Magnús Skarphéðinsson - For his dedication to education.

The Fool Has Learned The Game

"By the time the fool has learned the game, the players have dispersed." -- African Proverb

Welcome back, Ship, for another go 'round on this crazy darts ride.  This season we are kickin' it old school, with a roster that harkens back to some of our very first seasons.  So, with eight years and 15 seasons under our belts, it's time to see how much of this game we have learned.

The night took a little while to kick into gear, but we had to pity the opponent, because they only had three players.  This would  prove to be a big advantage for The Ship.  Rich started things off right with a sweep, and Andrew and Mindy followed with splits.  John took two forfeit wins in the last game, and The Ship was off and running with a 6-2 lead.

Andrew / John opened Cricket with a split, and Mindy / Rich capitalized on their Canadian match with a sweep.  D501 played out similarly, with Mindy / Andrew winning their Canadian match-up and Rich / John earning a split.  Overall, a solid 12-4 "wind-aided" win for The Ship.  Still too early to tell, but maybe we have learned this game after all....

Props:
John - For the theme, and 4 wins while downing half of Idaho.
Andrew - For 4 wins with new darts.
Mindy  - For 5 wins while updating Facebook.
Rich - For 5 wins, while accepting last season's Shippy Award.  (more on this season's contest to follow...)

Really??!?!

So Ship, you play darts every week, and you're surprised you end up in seedy, sketchy bars?  Really??!?  That's like stopping off at a crack house and being surprised it's in a bad neighborhood.  Really.

And you play darts one day a week, every other week, and you are surprised you are getting beat by people that play every day? Really??!?  That's like challenging Paula Abdul to a crazy contest.  You do it once, she does it EVERY day.  You have no chance.  Really.

OK, mine suck, but enjoy the SNL ones.  (and one more, just for Dave.  Really!??!)

Rich split the opener, but John kicked of his big night with two wins.  Really!!?!  Darian also earned a split, but Fred dropped both games in his round.  Really?  He gave up a room full of sugar-daddy bankers for this??  After all was said and done, though, The Ship was holding close at 4-4.

Do we really need to play Cricket every week?  Really??!?  Just for kicks, Rich / Fred played the first round, and lost all three games.  And to balance things out, Darian / John dropped all three in the second round.  It's possible that The Ship was improperly weighted due to an abundance of fries and wraps, but really, we might just be really bad at Cricket.

D501 gave us a chance to get back in the match, and Fred / John took one of two to get us started.  Rich / Darian ended the night with a split, as well, and The Ship walked away with 6 points for the night.

Props:
John - Really!!!  A monster night, winning three and dominating the Shippy.

Weekly Shippy Points (YTD Standings)

Player	Points	Notes
John	36	36 points in S501*, 0 points in Cricket, 12 points in D501
Fred	21	12 points in S501, 0 points in Cricket, 21 points in D501*
Darian	12	12 points in S501, 0 points in Cricket, 9 points in D501
Rich	12	12 points in S501, 12 points in Cricket*, 12 points in D501
* High Throw in Round

The Writing On The Wall

As we have already established, I've been at this re-cap writing for some time.  So I hope you will trust me when I say that this week's match was, quite literally, nothing to write home about.  As dart matches go, there wasn't too much of interest.  It was a fairly run-of-the-mill match.  As a team, we threw good darts, but it was definitely one of those nights where things just didn't fall our way.

Rich won the first game of the night, but his opponent acted like a prima donna and complained about the scoring, the atmosphere, the lights, the shadows, etc, setting the tone for the night.  The Ship then dropped the next seven games in a row, and we were down 7-1 after S501.

Mindy / Darian delivered a win in their second game of Cricket, as they piled on points and steamrolled to victory in one of their three games.  But Rich / John were swept to finish Cricket.  And, with sweeps in both games of D501, Mindy / Darian's Cricket win ended up being our final point of the night, and the match ended in a 16-2 loss for The Ship.

For me, darts has never been about the opponents we play.  In general, I consider the other teams a necessary evil that I need to put up with, in exchange for a weekly night out with The Ship.  Let's hope the annoying drunks, preening punks, whining boozers and big losers don't make that tradeoff unmanageable.

Props:
Mindy - For half of the points on the night, and for putting up with more than she should have had to.

Weekly Shippy Points (YTD Standings)

Player	Points	Notes
Darian	16	12 points in S501*, 16 points in Cricket*, 3 points in D501
Mindy	15	0 points in S501, 8 points in Cricket, 15 points in D501*
Rich	12	12 points in S501, 12 points in Cricket*, 3 points in D501
John	3	0 points in S501, 0 points in Cricket, 3 points in D501
* High Throw in Round

Tap That Ass

Rich is writing the update.

Michael is back in NYC and playing darts.

Darian refuses to join Facebook.

John is inventing Assbook.

Welcome to the jungle.  This week's match was all scrambled up, as The Ship played a make-up of a long-delayed match.  Michel was back in the mob, and led things off with two wins.  It was as though he had never been away at all.  Rich followed up by twirling a split.  Some other people you may know are John, who dropped his two games, and Darian, who won both of her games.  After S501, The Ship had 5 wins.

Michael / John helped fight global warming by earning one win to open Cricket.  Rich / Darian had a complicated round, but they managed to take one game.  After Cricket, The Ship had 7 wins.

Rich / Darian were completely super-poked to start D501, as they lost both games.  In the final round, John / Michael posted two wins to end the night.  After D501, The Ship had 9 wins.

Props:
Michael - For to reconnecting with your darts game.

Weekly Shippy Points (YTD Standings)

Player	Points	Notes
Darian	24	24 points in S501, 8 points in Cricket, 0 points in D501
Michael	24	24 points in S501, 20 points in Cricket*, 21 points in D501
Rich	24	24 points in S501*, 16 points in Cricket*, 6 points in D501
John	16	0 points in S501, 16 points in Cricket*, 15 points in D501
* High Throw in Round

Full of Ship and The Case of The Missing Points

A bar full of darts players...

A pile of nachos...

Missing bullseyes...

A bucket of nails...

And an eyewitness who's legally blind!

There was more to the Bullpen Bar in Idaville than meets the eye.  To passersby, it looks like a normal bar, with TV sets, piles of nachos and bar stools.  But this bar had a secret.  As The Ship hunted around inside The Tigers clubhouse for a win this week, a strange mystery arose.  Who had taken The Ship's points, and why?

The curious events unfolded early, as Rich and John both were completely puzzled at their complete lack of points in their opening games.  However, in a twist to the case, Fred was able to uncover a single point, as was the newly-added-to-the-roster Leroy "Darian" Levin.  The Ship had two wins, but was on the lookout for its other missing four points.

Things looked bad, as Fred / John were conned out of all of their points in the opener of Cricket by the formidable team of Bugs Meany / Wilford Wiggins.  Rich / EB closed their eyes and thought deeply, in order to crack the case of the Tricky Cricket, and capture a single point.  But it was going to take a lot of sleuthing for The Ship to come back from its 11-3 deficit.

Not even Sally Kimball could have saved The Ship in D501, as Fred / EB dropped the first two games, followed by Rich / John completely dropping the case.  But suddenly, as the night was coming to an end, Encyclopedia stood up. "I don't think The Ship should go just yet. They did not lose this match 15-3!" WHAT DID ENCYCLOPEDIA KNOW THAT WOULD HAVE CHANGED THE SCORE?"

For the answer to this story, turn to page 76.

Props:
Darian - For dominating in darts (2 wins, leader in Shippy points), as well as demonstrating her EB-ness, all in her first week back.
Rich / John / Fred - For dominating the nachos.

Weekly Shippy Points (YTD Standings)

Player	Points	Notes
Darian	24	24 points in S501*, 8 points in Cricket, 6 points in D501
Fred	18	12 points in S501, 0 points in Cricket, 3 points in D501 + 6 points for ending up "In"
Rich	10	0 points in S501, 4 points in Cricket, 0 points in D501 + 6 points for ending up "In"
John	3	0 points in S501, 0 points in Cricket, 3 points in D501
* High Throw in Round

Bye Week Blatherings

I have to say, I just don't get Dancin' With The Stars. I mean, it's not like watching professional dancing is popular, so why is this? Is it just that we will literally watch "stars" do anything? If so, why not Napping With The Stars, or Carpet Installation With The Stars, or Grocery Shopping With The Stars? I have to believe that any of those would be equally as entertaining. Plus, shouldn't there be some level of stardom in order to qualify? And what the heck is the scoring system?
Anyway, despite the above, I've never actually watched the show. But I am damn sure setting my TiVo as soon as they launch Cage Fighting With The Stars.