Darts & Juice

With so much drama in the N-Y-C
It's kinda hard bein The S-H-I-double-P
But we, somehow, some way
Keep comin' up with funky ass shit like every single Tuesday. 

Alright, let me kick a little something for the G's.  With everyone running late, it looked like things wouldn't get going until two in the morning.  But Darian took over, whipped out the rules, and then started things off with a win.  Andrew dropped game two, but then we turned off the lights and closed the doors, with a sweep of the next five S501 games.  Ship up, Matadors down, while we bounced to a 5-1 lead.

Now that we wanted some Cricket wins, everybody got their darts, and we all chipped in.  Everything is fine when we're watching the M-V-Ps, and Michael / Dave came through again with another two wins.  But then Rich / Andrew had some bubonic chronic that made them choke, and they dropped two games.  In the final round, Darian / Mindy told the Matadors raise up off these b-u-l-ls, cause you gets none of these.  They swept two games and The Ship was leading 9-3.

Later on that night, we came through with a gang of D501 games, and some fat ass W's.  Mindy / Darian started off with a win.  This ain't no joke.  Michael / Andrew kept it rollin, and there ain't no stoppin', The Ship was still poppin'.  Rich / Dave put a cherry on top to complete the D501 sweep and end the night with a 15-3 Ship win.  I'm out the door.

Props:
Dave / Darian - For rollin' up and down the street, and telling each other "You got to get yours but fool I gotta get mine."
Michael - With his mind on his darts and his darts on his mind.

Like Giving Candy to a Dinosaur With a Sweet Tooth

Welcome everybody to another exciting week of darts action. This week promised to be another thriller, as The Ship hit the oche for an important pre-vacation match. There was anticipation in the air, and Ship of Fools was packed - even a garter snake smothered in Vaseline couldn’t slide in there. So here's a recap of the action, Sid Waddell style.

Things started out rather cordial, with the expectation of a rare five-on-five match, with both teams short-handed. Once we got rolling, though, the sparks began to fly. Fred returned to action like a hippo in a power shower and won the opener. Rich and Dave won their games, as well. And then Michael, who is so hot he could hit the bullseye standing one-legged in a hammock, followed with an easy win. He's not A-donis, he's THE donis. We traded forfeits to end the round, giving The Ship an early 5-1 edge. A minor argument broke out, when the other team tried to renege on the dual-forfeit deal. As Freud and Jung would no doubt agree, you can over-psych for a darts match.

With Cricket starting, the fans had their eyes pierced on the dartboard. Michael / Dave were on fire in their games, stopping them would have been like trying to stop a water buffalo with a pea-shooter. Michael opened game two with an R6, like he was throwing three pickled onions into a thimble! Since their sixth player had arrived, Rich played the second round two-on-one, making him not just an underdog, but an underpuppy. Game one was fairly close, but Rich lost it and had one foot in the crematorium and the other near thin ice. They won game two easily, but as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out. Darian / Fred were sent out to win two games, and that's like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank. Darian closed out both games with bullseyes, and we easily swept. There's only one word for that - magic darts! After two rounds, and playing man-down, The Ship was leading 9-3. We couldn’t have had more excitement if Elvis had walked in the door and asked for a chip sandwich.

Their team was clearly rattled, as they took an extended vacation to plot strategy for D501. Their players were under so much duress, it was like Duressic Park out there. The looked about as happy as a penguin in a microwave, and they were starting to sweat like a swamp donkey. Fred / Darian went back out on a roll, and their eyes were bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch. But they were caught at the end and surprisingly dropped the first game. Dave got himself and Michael in with a quick double-in. If you had to throw a knife at your wife in the circus, you'd want to throw it like that. Michael quickly closed out the game for the win, leaving Rich to play Canadian-style in the final game. Rich doubled-in on his first dart, and managed to knock off about 100 points before the other team doubled-in. But, they caught up quickly, with the benefit of throwing six darts for every three we threw. But Rich managed to stay close, snapping at their heels like an alligator with a toothache. They made a critical error and ended up with a score of five, and a few busts later, Rich had a shot at a 32-out. He missed his first two chances at it, but their team missed their next six shots at doubling-out on four. Rich returned to the line and threw a 16-8-double 4 for the upset win, and a final score of 13-5 for The Ship.

Props:
Dave / Darian - The Justin Morneau and Joe Mauer of the MVP race.
Michael - A sweep for the Derek Jeter of the MVP race.
Sid Waddell - The Godfather of darts commentary.

Ship: Cultural Learnings of Bars for Make Benefit Glorious Sport of Darts

Jagshemash.  Our name Ship.  The NYD and O send us to Intersnet to write a story about darts.  It very similar to Kazah sport, shurik, where we take dogs, shoot them in a field and then have a party.  Please, you read, or I be execute.

Michael started off the night winning the first game.  Great success!  But the next four games were not good for us, with four losses in a row.  We will put these players now in a sack in the river.  Then John make sexytime and win to make score 2-4.

Ship won four games in Cricket.  High five!  Michael / John and Rich / Andrew win one game each.  Wow wow wee waa!  Then Dave / Mindy play two-on one.  Very nice, very nice!  They win, and the scores is all tieds.

Please we will now have 10 minutes silence.

Michael / Dave were very niiice in games of D501, winning strongly.  Then Andrew / Mindy and Rich / John won many games... NOT!  We lose 10-8, but our team is still the number one exporter of potassium, and other dart teams have inferior potassium.

Props:Dave - For wrestling Azamat.

Braley Defeats Truman

Halfway through the season, the NYDO held its own version of the mid-term elections.  Endorsed by all the major local publications and running on a platform of kicking-ass, The Ship was looking to consolidate its power with a win. 

The early returns indicated a close race was brewing.  The exit polls showed three wins for The Ship, along with three losses.  But as the vote totals rolled in, things started to look bad for the incumbents.  Rich / Andrew dropped two games to open Cricket.  But Michael / Darian turned things around with two impressive landslide wins.  John / Nacho hit some trouble in the last round, and The Ship needed a rally, as they were down 7-5 heading into D501.

John / Nacho opened D501 with a really close game, but got edged out in the end.  Darian / Michael continued their perfect nights in game two with a convincing bipartisan victory.  But, The Ship was forced to deliver a concession speech and accept a 7-11 loss when Rich / Andrew were voted out of office in the final game.  

Props:Darian / Michael - For taking back both the House and the Senate.
Bruce Braley - For one more win than John on Tuesday.