Papa Got a New Pair of Shoes

Rich, Fred and Mindy hit AC on Saturday, and brought back some fortune for lucky week eleven. The cards were stacked in our favor, as we were back in our home port and the Indigents didn't bring along a full house. At home, we have outscored our opponents 65-43 (versus 31-77 on the road) and with only 3 people on their team, anyone who bet against the Ship this week was facing long odds.

In S501, we only played 3 games. Holly drew their ace in the first game and, despite a valiant comeback, lost a tough match. Rich and Mindy cashed in with wins in their matches, and 3 forfeits gave the Ship a 5-1 lead after S501. Fred / Mindy doubled down to start out Cricket, taking both games of their 2-on-1 match. Holly / Nikki split the aces in their match, and with the final game forfeit, we took another 5 points in Cricket.

By the time we got to D501, we were up 10-2 and playing with the house's money. While it would have been easy to let down, we kept the pressure on, even though two of the games were 2-on-1. Jeremy / Holly started things off with a win. Rich / Nikki fought a war of attrition, before Nikki finally ended it by hitting the point. In the last game, Fred/Mindy faced a strong opponent, but Mindy's Ton-33 and Fred's Ton opened up a big lead. With Fred's double-out, we sealed a sweep in D501 and a final score of 16-2.

It might not have been as fun as a 12-1 payoff on "match the dealer", but it's still money in the bank.

Props: 
Mindy - 3 earned wins (no forfeits), 331 AS points. And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.

Abbey Normal

Normally there is nothing I like more than hanging out in seedy bars at the bottom of Manhattan and throwing darts. But in last night's 6-12 loss to the Imports, nothing seemed normal. Your fearless leader started the squad out on a low note with a loss, for the fifth time in six weeks. Luckily, your other fearless leader stepped up with a win and her usual Ton. We had some close games from Nikki and Meredith, and then Fred won a war of attrition, to extend his S501 win streak to eight games. The newly resurgent Jeremy showed up just in time to post another "W" and knot the match, and normally, there is nothing better than a knotted match.

Cricket started out with a bang, as the new dominant team of Fred and Jeremy posted a sweep. Normally, there's nothing better than starting out Cricket with a bang. But just as quickly, your fearless leader (and Nikki) gave it back by getting swept. Thankfully, your other fearless leader (and Meredith) stepped up, once again, and threw a great game, and secured a split, leaving us tied-up going into D501.

Normally, there is nothing better than being tied up going into Doubles 501. But we couldn't close the deal with the mixed-pairs teams we sent out. Fred/Nikki played a strong game but couldn't close the door. Jeremy / Meredith played well, but the other team doubled out on their first try. And then your fearless leaders stepped up for the final game. Normally, there is nothing better than being teamed up with Holly and having someone toss in a midget. But somehow it didn't seem so fun when it was actually happening. Down by over 250 points before they doubled in, Rich/Holly fought back hard to get back in the game. But, they missed their chances at doubling out and The Ship's decks were swept in D501.

Normally, there is nothing better than having The Ship's deck swept (say that 10 times fast), but last night, not so much. Let's see if we can return to normal next week, at home, versus the Indigents.

Props: 
Fred - 3 wins, 216 AS points. Another day at the office.
Holly - 2 wins, 220 AS points. Solid.
Jeremy - Off the S501 schneid.

You Don't Mess Around With The Ship

A little karaoke, to the tune of "You Don't Mess Around With Jim":

Uptown got it's hustlers
West 3rd Street got it's bums
The Pussycat has the Brew Crew
Some dart-throwin' son of a guns
Yeah, they're big and dumb as a man can come
But the darts they can surely toss
And when you go to the NYDO site
They all call Da Brew Crew "Boss"

Well outta the North came a fiesty team
Good-lookin', fun-lovin' and hip
A dart-throwin' squad
With a dollar and a dream
You know them as The Ship
They came lookin' for the team at the top of the league
That was wearin' headbands like a bunch of dorks
We knew we had a chance
As we stepped up to the dance
And it was time to throw some corks.

Undaunted, The Ship stepped up with guts
Two Singles 501 games were won
Fred continued his streak
And Holly rolled along
After starting her game with a Ton
In Cricket two games were taken
Setting the match at eight to four
And like it has so many times
It came down to doubles 501 once more.

Well a hush fell over the dart room
When Mindy played with her cut-up hand
With her gutsy performance
She set the stage
For Meredith and Jeremy to take a stand
We took two points, you should have seen their faces
And you can bet we weren't done
And you better believe
They sung a different kind of story
When big Fred hit Double-one.

Now they say...

You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with The Ship

Props:
The Squad - 8 points against the top team is a solid night.
Meredith - Treble, Treble, Treble. 15, 16, 17 and 19, all in one game.
Mindy - For snubbing the DL and laughing at pain.
Jeremy - 96 AS points, 2 wins
Fred - Off the schneid in D501.
Jim Croce - For the lyrics.

Ship Too Damn Good-Looking

Statistics, schmagistics. After careful study and in-depth analysis, it has been determined that proficiency in darts has nothing to do with practice. Won / Loss percentage, partner pairings, past performance all mean nothing. In the end, it appears that the less attractive you are, the better you are at darts. Frankly, what else could explain these guys from the scary Canadian team, and the Ship's 13-5 loss to O'Hanlon's?

Rich, playing in a suit that upgraded his appearance to "passable", started off the night by getting crushed by Kowalski. Then, the lovely Holly and Meredith both lost close games. Dashing Fred (6 - 2) and stunning Mindy (5 - 1) extended their strong records in S501, where they have consistently and fortuitously been matched up against a string of Victoria's Secret models and Brad Pitt. (Oddly, they have also consistently played trolls and gnomes in their D501 matches, where they have a combined record of 1 win and 11 losses. Apparently there's no "I" in the beholder of doubles.) Then, in a heartbreaking ending, Nikki lost when her troglodyte opponent got out from 77.

When paired up, the Ship's attractive powers multiply, causing real trouble with Cricket and D501. In the Cricket round, the strapping Fred and sultry Meredith lost two hard-fought matches. Sexy Mindy and exotic Nikki, who should absolutely never win together, amazingly managed a split. (Their win was credited more to their lack of practice than to attractiveness, which is a corollary to the newly discovered phenomena that must be researched further.) Rich and Holly didn't stand a chance in their match against two ogres. While Holly tried her best to buck the trend, even her heroic effort was not enough to overcome the disparity between pulchritude and repugnance.

In order to overcome their combined splendor, The Ship needed a sweep in D501 to tie up the match. While everyone else in the bar was becoming more attractive with each passing beer, Rich and his Cokes managed to maintain their unsightliness, allowing him to double out for a win to start D501. But the exquisite team of Fred and Mindy were doomed from the start, and the dazzling pair of Meredith and Holly were so gruesome-impaired that they needed some magic to avoid an embarrassing midget tossing.

When it comes right down to it, we look marvelous, and we pay a price for it.

Props: 
Holly - For the lineup.
Meredith - The Einstein of darts theory.