Welcome everybody to another exciting week of darts action. This week promised to be another thriller, as The Ship hit the oche for an important pre-vacation match. There was anticipation in the air, and Ship of Fools was packed - even a garter snake smothered in Vaseline couldn’t slide in there. So here's a recap of the action, Sid Waddell style. Things started out rather cordial, with the expectation of a rare five-on-five match, with both teams short-handed. Once we got rolling, though, the sparks began to fly. Fred returned to action like a hippo in a power shower and won the opener. Rich and Dave won their games, as well. And then Michael, who is so hot he could hit the bullseye standing one-legged in a hammock, followed with an easy win. He's not A-donis, he's THE donis. We traded forfeits to end the round, giving The Ship an early 5-1 edge. A minor argument broke out, when the other team tried to renege on the dual-forfeit deal. As Freud and Jung would no doubt agree, you can over-psych for a darts match.
With Cricket starting, the fans had their eyes pierced on the dartboard. Michael / Dave were on fire in their games, stopping them would have been like trying to stop a water buffalo with a pea-shooter. Michael opened game two with an R6, like he was throwing three pickled onions into a thimble! Since their sixth player had arrived, Rich played the second round two-on-one, making him not just an underdog, but an underpuppy. Game one was fairly close, but Rich lost it and had one foot in the crematorium and the other near thin ice. They won game two easily, but as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out. Darian / Fred were sent out to win two games, and that's like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank. Darian closed out both games with bullseyes, and we easily swept. There's only one word for that - magic darts! After two rounds, and playing man-down, The Ship was leading 9-3. We couldn’t have had more excitement if Elvis had walked in the door and asked for a chip sandwich.
Their team was clearly rattled, as they took an extended vacation to plot strategy for D501. Their players were under so much duress, it was like Duressic Park out there. The looked about as happy as a penguin in a microwave, and they were starting to sweat like a swamp donkey. Fred / Darian went back out on a roll, and their eyes were bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch. But they were caught at the end and surprisingly dropped the first game. Dave got himself and Michael in with a quick double-in. If you had to throw a knife at your wife in the circus, you'd want to throw it like that. Michael quickly closed out the game for the win, leaving Rich to play Canadian-style in the final game. Rich doubled-in on his first dart, and managed to knock off about 100 points before the other team doubled-in. But, they caught up quickly, with the benefit of throwing six darts for every three we threw. But Rich managed to stay close, snapping at their heels like an alligator with a toothache. They made a critical error and ended up with a score of five, and a few busts later, Rich had a shot at a 32-out. He missed his first two chances at it, but their team missed their next six shots at doubling-out on four. Rich returned to the line and threw a 16-8-double 4 for the upset win, and a final score of 13-5 for The Ship.
Props:
Dave / Darian - The Justin Morneau and Joe Mauer of the MVP race.
Michael - A sweep for the Derek Jeter of the MVP race.
Sid Waddell - The Godfather of darts commentary.
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