Screwed The Pooch

Sometimes, if you need to deliver bad news, at least you can present it in a nice package.  That is exactly my strategy this week, given our recent performance.  It was ugly, but I'm hoping you will be distracted by the shiny new website.
 
Heading in to the week's action, The Ship was in first place by a seemingly comfortable six points.  Although we were facing the second-place team, anything better than an 11-5 loss would keep us atop the league.  But, before we could say "Upper East Side Democratic Party," The Ship was in deep trouble, dropping six of the eight S501 games.  Only Andrew helped stave off defeat, winning both of his games.

But, just like the Democrats' new healthcare bill, things got much, much worse in Cricket.  Rich / Andrew dropped both in the opener, despite leading by a mile in game two.  John / Darian also dropped two, and suddenly things were looking very bad for The Ship's lead.

The final, punishing blows were delivered in D501, as The Ship was once again swept away.  The 14-2 loss was a doozy, and left The Ship six points out of first place.  But, we have two weeks to make it back up before we head to the playoffs. 

Props:  
Andrew - The only wins of the night.

Scroooged

I was a captain of industry, feared by men, adored by women.

ADORED? C'mon, let's be honest, Lew. You PAID for the women. 

(OK, technically this is a continuation of last week's recap.)

No game this week.

Screwed Over

Let it never be said that The Ship's updates are not topical.  And since everyone else is talking about Mr. Woods' recent troubles, why shouldn't we?  Plus, given the fact that one of the ladies in the Tiger's Den will soon appear in a movie entitled "Screwed Over," it magically fits the theme.  So let's dedicate this one to Tiger and Holly Sampson. Sometimes, these updates just write themselves...

We hopped on our carts, grabbed our caddies and teed off this week at The Edge. But The Ship had a bit of trouble backing out of the driveway to start the night.  Rich threw up an eagle in the first round, winning both games.  Andrew, John and Dave all cashed in birdies with splits across the board.  So, lightly loaded on Ambien, The Ship had a few dings in its SUV, but escaped leading 5-3.  But the other team was hot on our tail, ready to crack our heads with a golf club if we weren't careful.

We approached the turn, and suddenly the wins started to accumulate like Tiger's list.  Rich / Andrew dropped the first game of Cricket, as the other team holed out on the 18th with a double-bull comeback.  But we bounced back with a win in game two.  Michael / Steve took home a set of green jackets with a sweep, putting The Ship up 8-4 and on the way to matching Jack Nicklaus' career major record.

Rich / Andrew knocked it stiff in the D501 opener with two wins.  Michael / John tapped it for a win in the final game, giving The Ship an 11-5 win for the night.  Take your name off your phone....

Props:
Steve - Two wins in his triumphant return.

Screw Up

I really do appreciate, the fact you're playing darts on Monday.  This week, many people accommodated my personal need to move our usual Tuesday match, so I could attend a Jimmy Buffett concert.  And, to paraphrase Jimmy, the bar maid brought a pitcher, another round of brew.  And honey, we sure did get drunk and I screwed us.

Despite playing at Bleecker Street, a favorite of The Ship, it was an uncomfortable Monday.  First off, we were all confused by the day, and as Turner said, this was supposed to be our "throw day," not a game night.  Plus, we were cramped in a corner because there were two matches being played.  The discomfort showed early, as both Rich and Andrew dropped two S501 games.  Dave got us off the schneid with a win, and John made us feel a little better with two wins.  But The Ship was in a weird position, down 5-3, and the plan to play on Monday was not looking good.

Cricket was equally disconcerting, as Rich / Andrew split, despite playing heads and tails above their opponents.  John / Fred also split, and The Ship was down 7-5 after Cricket.

John / Dave ran into a Monday buzzsaw to start D501 and dropped both games.  Rich / Andrew salvaged a little bit of the night with two wins to end the evening  Overall, though, it was a rough night, as The Ship lost its first match of the season.  I just bought a water bed, it's filled up for me and you... can dunk me in it.

Props:
Andrew - Dominating the AS points with 415.

Screw You Guys, We're Going Home

There is no place like home.  With home field advantage, home cookin', and homeboys, it is guaranteed to deliver that down home feeling.  After nearly a month away, it was good to be back home at SOF in front of cheering fans, and as always, home treated us well.

Rich rolled out the welcome mat with two wins to start.  Turner drew the short straw in the blind lineup contest and was swept in two games.  Michael came back with two wins, and Darian played homemaker with a split in the final two games.  The 5-3 lead was comforting, and the home crowd was warming up to the action.

Rich / Andrew met some home wreckers in the first game of Cricket, but they came back to clean house in game two.  Michael / John hit a home run on both ends of their Cricket match, putting The Ship up 8-4.

It was home sweet home all the way in D501.  John / Dave led off with a sweep, including some strong double outs.  Rich / Andrew kept the crowd around for a while, as the final game came down to an endless battle for double-one.  But two wins meant a sweep of all four D501 games, a 12-4 Ship victory, and a happy ride home for the fans.

Props:
Chris & Dan - For coming out for RINYC.

Andrew - For the theme.

 

Screw Cap

There is nothing like popping the top off a cold stout.  Smooth, refreshing, and just hits the spot... just like The Ship hit the spot on this night at Stout.

We popped the top on the night and unleashed a stream of wins.  Both Rich and Michael swept their S501 games.  But, after Dave was swept in his two games, Andrew swept his round.  With three sweeps in our favor, The Ship leapt out to a 6-2 lead.

The matchups in Cricket were a bit of a twist(off), as Rich / Dave started things off and were only able to earn a split.  John / Fred uncorked a win in their first game, and earned a split as well and The Ship held on to an 8-4 lead.

It was time to pop the champagne cork after D501.  Michael / John took the second of their two games, both of which were thrillers.  Rich / Andrew swept both games, nearly tossing a midget in the process.  With three wins, the final score was a lid lifting 11-5 Ship win.

Props:
Andrew - Undefeated, and a master of the double-out.

Screwed, Blued and Tattooed

This is a season in which the (first place) Ship is going to surprise a lot of people.  And with Michael added back to the roster, the already powerful squad got even better this week.  So don't turn your back on The Ship, or we might leave you screwed, blued and tattooed.

This week started out as a brawl, with each team trading heavyweight punches in the first round.  Rich lost the first game in a close on, and snuck out a win in the second to get things going.  Turner was chivalrous in his games, dropping both.  But John came back with a split and Michael returned to action with a sweep, and Round 1 was ruled a 4-4 draw.

Rich / Andrew dropped the first game of Cricket, and our opponents might have thought they were in the clear.  But then - just like that - The Ship dropped the hammer.  Rich / Andrew won their second game, and Michael / John swept both of their rounds, including a C3 finish from Michael.  After two rounds, The Ship was out to a 7-5 lead.

Michael / John went right back out for D501 and earned a split.  Rich / Andrew finished the night with a sweep, on the strength of two double-outs from Turner.  Bang!  Just lkie that The Ship scored a TKO with a 10-6 win.

Props:
Michael - Five wins in a triumphant return.
Rich - The current Division C All-Star points leader.

Screw Loose

It has been said that you need to have a screw loose to play darts every week.  It is safe to say that we have seen some funky characters in this league, and we are clearly a little looney for doing this for nine years.  This was another crazy, unpredictable week for The Ship.

Rich opened the night continuing a recent S501 run with two wins against an old foe, in a game that featured 335 AS points.  Andrew split two tough games, and John was swept in round three.  The birthday girl wrapped up the first round with a split, and it was looking like an even match at 4-4 after S501.

For the first time all season, The Ship hit a rough spot during Cricket.  Rich / Andrew dropped the first game and barely salvaged a split in the opener.  When John / Darian dropped both ends of their round, suddenly the night was not looking so even, with The Ship trailing 7-5.

But Andrew / John but The Ship back on track with a supremely impressive start to D501, as they delivered a good-old-fashioned midget tossing in game one.  Their split put The Ship in position to salvage a tie for the night, if Rich / Darian could deliver a sweep.  And deliver they did, with Darian delivering the final dart of the night.  So The Ship had come back to get a hard-fought split for the night, and maintained a hold on first-place overall.

Props:
Andrew / John - It's been a while since we've seen a tossing.

Scrooge McDuck

Bah humbug. No game this week.

Screwy

Darts is nothing if not a screwy game.  Some nights you have it, some nights you don't.  Some nights you can play well and lose, and some nights, even if you don't have it, you can win. On this night, most everything fell in place for The Ship and we reaped the benefits.

Rich started out with two quick wins, including a Ton-40 and a Ton-20.  Andrew followed with a split, and then John swept his round.  Steve dropped both games, but The Ship still held a 5-3 lead after S501.

In what has become a new trend, The Ship dominated Cricket.  Andrew / John  split the first round, but Rich / Dave swept both games in the finishing round, to extend The Ship's lead to 8-4.

In D501, we did just enough to hold our lead for the night, as Dave / Steve were swept in the opener, but Rich / Andrew took both ends to finish the night, on the strength of Andrew's doubles.  The final score was a screwy 10-6 Ship win, but we will gladly take it.

Props:
Rich - A clean sweep in six games.

Screwed

Some nights, you know you're screwed.  If you bring a knife to a gun fight?  Screwed.  If you come home with lipstick on your shirt collar?  Screwed.  And if you bring two players to a darts match?  Screwed.  And so it was this week for our opponents.

Despite the favorable odds, Rich split the first two games of the night.  But Andrew swept two games, followed by two rounds of forfeits.  And just like that, The Ship was up 7-1.

Cricket was quick and painless, as John / Steve swept both of their games.  And with another forfeit win, The Ship was out to an 11-1 lead.

Rich / Andrew played D501, and split their games, making Rich responsible for both losses on the night.  With the final forfeit, the night ended with The Ship delivering a 14-2 shellacking.

Props:
Steve - For an undefeated (wind-aided) night, plus his first-ever All Star points.

Turn of the Screw

Here we are, on the road again.  Here we are, up on the stage.  There we go, playin' darts again, there we go, turn the page.

It's always good to be back, and this season is no different.  It's also good to welcome new players to the squad, and to see the wily old veterans of the team.  This week, the old and the new came together, and we played as though we'd never been away.

Rich started the season off with a win right out of the box, and a split in the first match-up.  Despite claims of being "not sharp," Andrew followed up with a sweep in his two games, as did Fred.  Dave dropped two tough games, but The Ship was off and running in the Fall 2009 season with a 5-3 lead.

Steve made his inaugural outing, joining Rich in the first round of Cricket and earning a split.  Dave / Andrew played two very close games, and also earned a split, making the score 7-5 after two rounds.

Already warmed-up and throwing well, Dave / Andrew went back out to start D501, and promptly swept both games they played.  Rich / Steve wrapped up the night with a split, in front of a sparse crowd.  The strong outing for The Ship ended with a 10-6 win and good prospects for the rest of the season.

Props:
Andrew - For putting the screws to the opposition right off the bat.
Steve - For hitting .500 in his rookie outing.

Only A Fool Trusts Either Of Them

"A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them." -- P J O'Rourke

The golden rule is that it's better to be lucky than good.  Well, The Ship could use a little luck, and it wouldn't help to get a little good thrown in, as well.  But win or lose, you must trust The Ship, because only a fool would not.

The Ship pulled out the pick-axes this week and panned for a few wins.  But Rich started out finding only rocks in the first two games.  Andrew came up with a gem in his round, though.  Then Mindy came up dry in two game, but Darian pulled out a diamond in the rough to give The Ship two wins.

Rich / Andrew scraped up some dust for a one win to start Cricket.  And Darian / Mindy played a noble round to pull out a win and give The Ship another two wins.

Darian / Mindy started out D501 dropping two games, before Darian hit the road to karaoke.  But Rich / Andrew hit the mother lode in the last round and pulled out two wins, making the final score a 10-6 loss for The Ship

Props:
Andrew - For digging up three wins.

A Foolish Consistency

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A Fool At Least Once a Month

"The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month." -- Fyodor Dostoevsky

In my opinion, The Ship is the cleverest of all, because we throw darts at least once a week.  Unfortunately, we have only been winning matches about once a month.  It seems like it's been a year since I have written, but hopefully this write-up will let you see The Ship more clearly, love The Ship more dearly, and follow The Ship more nearly, day by day by day.

In an instant, things got started on a good note, as Rich won the first game of the night.  But, like sands through the hourglass, the games ticked away and The Ship could not find another win in S501.

After what seemed like eons, The Ship scored a win in the opener of Cricket from Fred / Mindy. But Rich / John were unable to post a win, and The Ship had fallen hours behind in the race that is darts, down a 10-2 hole.

Rich / Mindy only took a minute to win the first game of D501.  Fred / John ended the long night with a win, but the night ended at four to twelve for The Ship.

Props:
Mindy - For tracking the Shippy, and taking the lead.

A Fool at Forty

"Be wise with speed; a fool at forty is a fool indeed." -- Edward Young

As the wise old masters of the NYDO, The Ship has seen it all when it comes to darts.  As we approach forty, we happily pass along the accumulated wisdom of the ages to other darters.  Whether it is a quick tip on simple math, or the genesis of dart terms, or the best double-out option, we are quick to help out.  But just when we think we've seen it all, along comes something new, like a one-armed player, which even we are not sure how to handle.

Rich got us out of the blocks slowly with a split, but Andrew and John both quickly picked up speed with two sweeps.  Dave pulled the One-Armed Bandit in the final game, and got unlucky as he dropped both.  But, The Ship had sprinted out to an early 5-3 lead.

When it comes to Cricket, even the wisdom of Mitch Cumstein cannot help out The Ship.  Rich / Andrew only managed a split in the opener, despite leading both games early on.  But Dave / John were again framed by the one-armed man, and they dropped both games, and the match was now tied 6-6.

Dave / John went back out to start D501, and finally defeated One Arm Joe.  Rich / Andrew also split their final two games, and The Ship ended a long night with an 8-8 tie.  Which is lucky, in Haiti.  How 'bout a Fresca?

Props:
Fred - Not yet a fool, but only a year away.

You Must Not Fool Yourself

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." -- Richard Feynman 

When in doubt, go back to first principles.  Try as they might, teams can't fool The Ship.  And The Ship doesn't fool itself.  If nothing else, Full of Ship has never been full of ship.  Anyway, let me give you the full gist of fullness that was The Ship, to the fullest.

John started the night this week, and pulled a split to start.  Rich followed with two wins, but he was just fooling himself, as we'll see later.  Andrew began his onslaught of AS points with 225 in his games, plus a split.  Darian gave The Ship another split, and we were off to a 5-3 lead after S501.

The Ship can't fool anyone in Cricket, and this week was more of the same.  Andrew / John split the first two games, and Rich / Darian split the second two, as the wheels inexplicable fell off in the second game.  Still, The Ship was up 7-5 after Cricket.

Rich / Darian continued their slide into D501, dropping both games to start things off.  But John / Andrew came through with a sweep of the last two games, giving The Ship a 9-7 win for the night.

Props:
Andrew - Four wins, and all of the Ship's AS points for the night (350).

A Fool And a Thief

"In every bet, there is a fool and a thief." -- Anonymous

I have no idea how that quote is anonymous, since I'm pretty sure everyone who goes to Vegas has said the same thing.  Well, if I was gambling man, I would have pegged this week as a sure thing for The Ship.  Coming off a good night last week, with nearly the whole squad on board, in a bar that provides about as much of a home field advantage as you can get without being at SOF... all things pointed to taking The Ship and laying the points.  But look out, you never know when a long shot is going to pull an upset.

Fred started things off in a game that was circled by the Book, earning a split to start the night.  In bowling, a split hurts, but in darts it's not so bad.  Andrew followed up with another split, and in the hot game of the night Mindy also had a split for a third push for The Ship. In the last round, Rich failed to cover, dropping both games and leaving The Ship down 5-3 after S501.

The Ship is typically a dog in Cricket, and the opening line reflected it.  When Rich / Dave dropped the first two games and Andrew / Mindy dropped the second two, the wrong bettors who went against The Ship were paid off in spades.  With The Ship down 9-3 after Cricket, there were gamblers ripping up their tickets all over the place.

Heading in to D501, we were more than 15 lengths back and needed a miracle comeback to just make things close.  Darian / Mindy jumped out to a huge lead in their first game, but couldn't close the door.  When they dropped game two, it looked like The Ship was down for the count.  But Rich / Andrew won the first game taking out a 69 (triple-19, double-6) and game two with a good old fashioned 32-out.  The two win parley helped  offset some of the losses, but only earned The Ship an 11-5 loss for the night.  If you took The Ship and 5.5 points... you lost!

Props:
Andrew - A thief, with three wins.
Rich - A fool, with 530 AS points.
Kris - Good luck on the move!!

And Another Woman Makes A Fool Of Him

"A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes." -- Robert Frost 

Some players spend years honing their darts skills...and it takes Mindy twenty minutes to make fools of them.  With a brand new board and anew year of The Shippy, it was a new start for The Ship, as we put our years of experience to work and played our wild tarot card.  

The Ship started out strong, with a split from Rich followed by a sweep from Andrew.  But the match quickly tightened up at 4-4 as John split and Mindy dropped two games.  But, Mindy's Ton-33 was a sign of what was to come, and secured her the high AS score for the round.

Rich / Andrew opened Cricket with a split, and John / Mindy split their two games, as well.  But once again, Mindy threw the high As for the round with an R6.

Mindy / John came back to start D501, and Mindy made fools of the competition by putting up two wins, and throwing another 92 As points in for good measure.  Rich / Andrew closed out the night with a split, and The Ship wound up with a 9-7 win.  The first step in turning this season around, and making some fools.

Props:
Mindy - 345 AS points, 20 Shippys, three wins and a dominating performance.
Dave - Birthday props.

And A Fool If He Doesn't Afterward

"A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn't afterward." -- Frank Lloyd Wright

I'd like to amend the above quote to say that The Ship is a fool if it drinks before Cricket, and a fool if it doesn't drink when it is down 11-1 afterward. To be fair, at the age of 50, Frank Lloyd Wright had a servant burn his house down and kill seven people with an axe, got divorced, re-married a morphine addict, got divorced again, got re-married, had his house burn down again, was charged with human trafficking under the Mann Act, and eventually died.  But in comparison, I'd say this week's match for The Ship was about equal.

Despite the cozy environs of the Crowe's Nest, things started off a little tenuous as Rich dropped the first game in an old-fashioned C-league double-one desperation match.  Rich came back with a win in game two, but pretty quickly The Ship  dug itself a hole deeper than the Second Avenue subway being built right outside.  Andrew threw a heap of AS points in his games, but dropped both.  John followed by getting swept, and Darian also dropped two in her inaugural game of the season.  The Ship was quickly down 7-1 and looking for a bracer.

When Cricket came around, we needed a whole bunch of Grasshoppers, and possibly a few tequila worms.  Rich / Darian were swept in the first round, and John / Andrew were swept in the second round.  Suddenly it was a dark and stormy night, and we were looking for a few Dark and Stormies.

Even having the entire Levin household on hand couldn't clear our heads, although it helped a little.  Rich / Dave managed a win in the first game of D501 before losing the second.  Andrew / John ended the night dropping the last two, and making the final score a 14-2 Ship loss.  Ugh.  I need a drink.

Props:
Andrew - For the last 340 AS points those darts will ever see.

And Fool Reform

"Tomorrow is the day when idlers work, and fool reform, and mortal men lay hold on heaven." -- Andrew Young


BYE week. See below for next update.

An Ordinary Fool

"Whatever talents I possess may suddenly diminish or suddenly increase. I can with ease become an ordinary fool. I may be one now. But it doesn't do to upset one's own vanity." -- Dylan Thomas

There is nothing like a game of darts to upset one's own vanity.  One minute you are on the top of your game and the bullseye is as big as a saucer, and the next minute you can't hit a double to save your life.  Jet lag, karma, rust, or bad lighting.  Who knows why, but some nights the darts are falling, and some nights the darts are not.  Unfortunately for The Ship, this was one of those nights.

We knew it would be a long night early on.  Rich started out with a runaway win, and then jumped out to a big lead in game two.  But, unable to close it out, he dropped the second game.  Andrew turned things around briefly for The Ship, by pulling off a sweep.  Fred and John followed with splits to round out S501 and put The Ship up 5-3 early.  But, maybe it was the elves, but things just didn't seem right.

Rich / Mindy started out Cricket with a come back win, despite having held a sizeable lead to start things out.  And right about this point on the night... The Ship's talents suddenly diminished.  There was bad strategy which led to a loss in game two for Rich / Mindy, despite out playing and out bulling the competition.  There were tough losses, as Fred / Andrew were swept in two close games to end Cricket, making the score 6-6 after the second round.

And then there was complete misfortune.  John / Fred were swept in the start of D501.  And in the second round, needing two Ship wins to just tie the night, Rich / Andrew dropped both games.  Ugh.  So, we ended with a 10-6 loss.  But, it doesn't do to upset one's vanity.  So we will be back next time, and I look forward to our talents will suddenly increasing.

Props:
Magnús Skarphéðinsson - For his dedication to education.

The Fool Has Learned The Game

"By the time the fool has learned the game, the players have dispersed." -- African Proverb

Welcome back, Ship, for another go 'round on this crazy darts ride.  This season we are kickin' it old school, with a roster that harkens back to some of our very first seasons.  So, with eight years and 15 seasons under our belts, it's time to see how much of this game we have learned.

The night took a little while to kick into gear, but we had to pity the opponent, because they only had three players.  This would  prove to be a big advantage for The Ship.  Rich started things off right with a sweep, and Andrew and Mindy followed with splits.  John took two forfeit wins in the last game, and The Ship was off and running with a 6-2 lead.

Andrew / John opened Cricket with a split, and Mindy / Rich capitalized on their Canadian match with a sweep.  D501 played out similarly, with Mindy / Andrew winning their Canadian match-up and Rich / John earning a split.  Overall, a solid 12-4 "wind-aided" win for The Ship.  Still too early to tell, but maybe we have learned this game after all....

Props:
John - For the theme, and 4 wins while downing half of Idaho.
Andrew - For 4 wins with new darts.
Mindy  - For 5 wins while updating Facebook.
Rich - For 5 wins, while accepting last season's Shippy Award.  (more on this season's contest to follow...)