Little Darter Boy

Come out on Tuesday, pa rum pum pum pum
A game of darts to play, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest darts we throw, pa rum pum pum pum
And to the playoffs we go, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum.

In a pre-holiday gathering, The Ship joined up this week for a mini-celebration and to kick-off the holiday season in style.  We didn't have a gift to bring to the Darts King, so instead we played our darts for Him (pa rum pum pum pum).  We played our best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum.

Rich started the holy night off with a win, and Michael posted a win, as well.  Darian, Nacho and John were clearly drinking too much eggnog, and all three got run over by a reindeer on their way to a win.  After a long break waiting for their last player, Andrew unwrapped a win in the last game of S501, making the score a 3-3 after the first round.

In the first game of Cricket, Nacho / John got their halls decked, and dropped both games.  But after that, we had a merry little Cricket, as Darian / Michael and Rich / Andrew both swept their matches.  Suddenly, it was beginning to look a lot like Christmas inside Ship of Fools.

With only five players left heading into D501, all we really wanted for Christmas was our two front teeth, or two D501 wins.  Despite Rich playing as cold as Frosty the Snowman, Rich / Darian managed to win the first game, with Darian throwing the proverbial "Gimel".  In game two, John / Andrew managed to strike the harp and join the chorus, with another big win.  In the last game, Michael played Canadian-style (1-on-2) and went down in history (like George Washington).  Undeterred by falling behind early, he stuck around and managed to win, and we shouted out with glee.

Then He smiled at Ship, pa rum pum pum pum.
Ship and our darts.

Props: 
Michael - For delivering a Christmas miracle.
Rich / Andrew - For rocking the night away with a pair of sweeps.
Holly - Just so I can use the phrase "Holly Jolly Christmas".

But Don't Forget, It Goes The Other Way, Too

After the fall last week, The Ship sought a return to its former self. While temporal mechanics stop us from going back and fixing last week, we had the chance to bring our best and make the most of this week. And we did dominate, both on the dartboard and on the MegaTouch. (Click to continue...)

That's The Way It Goes

Me am Bizarro-Ship. Bizarro-Ship do the opposite of normal Ship. Me realize that Ship never lose, so me lose lots of times! Other team very grateful! Scream with happiness! Ha ha! Pretty imperfect, huh? (Click to continue...)

Darts & Juice

With so much drama in the N-Y-C
It's kinda hard bein The S-H-I-double-P
But we, somehow, some way
Keep comin' up with funky ass shit like every single Tuesday. 

Alright, let me kick a little something for the G's.  With everyone running late, it looked like things wouldn't get going until two in the morning.  But Darian took over, whipped out the rules, and then started things off with a win.  Andrew dropped game two, but then we turned off the lights and closed the doors, with a sweep of the next five S501 games.  Ship up, Matadors down, while we bounced to a 5-1 lead.

Now that we wanted some Cricket wins, everybody got their darts, and we all chipped in.  Everything is fine when we're watching the M-V-Ps, and Michael / Dave came through again with another two wins.  But then Rich / Andrew had some bubonic chronic that made them choke, and they dropped two games.  In the final round, Darian / Mindy told the Matadors raise up off these b-u-l-ls, cause you gets none of these.  They swept two games and The Ship was leading 9-3.

Later on that night, we came through with a gang of D501 games, and some fat ass W's.  Mindy / Darian started off with a win.  This ain't no joke.  Michael / Andrew kept it rollin, and there ain't no stoppin', The Ship was still poppin'.  Rich / Dave put a cherry on top to complete the D501 sweep and end the night with a 15-3 Ship win.  I'm out the door.

Props:
Dave / Darian - For rollin' up and down the street, and telling each other "You got to get yours but fool I gotta get mine."
Michael - With his mind on his darts and his darts on his mind.

Like Giving Candy to a Dinosaur With a Sweet Tooth

Welcome everybody to another exciting week of darts action. This week promised to be another thriller, as The Ship hit the oche for an important pre-vacation match. There was anticipation in the air, and Ship of Fools was packed - even a garter snake smothered in Vaseline couldn’t slide in there. So here's a recap of the action, Sid Waddell style.

Things started out rather cordial, with the expectation of a rare five-on-five match, with both teams short-handed. Once we got rolling, though, the sparks began to fly. Fred returned to action like a hippo in a power shower and won the opener. Rich and Dave won their games, as well. And then Michael, who is so hot he could hit the bullseye standing one-legged in a hammock, followed with an easy win. He's not A-donis, he's THE donis. We traded forfeits to end the round, giving The Ship an early 5-1 edge. A minor argument broke out, when the other team tried to renege on the dual-forfeit deal. As Freud and Jung would no doubt agree, you can over-psych for a darts match.

With Cricket starting, the fans had their eyes pierced on the dartboard. Michael / Dave were on fire in their games, stopping them would have been like trying to stop a water buffalo with a pea-shooter. Michael opened game two with an R6, like he was throwing three pickled onions into a thimble! Since their sixth player had arrived, Rich played the second round two-on-one, making him not just an underdog, but an underpuppy. Game one was fairly close, but Rich lost it and had one foot in the crematorium and the other near thin ice. They won game two easily, but as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out. Darian / Fred were sent out to win two games, and that's like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank. Darian closed out both games with bullseyes, and we easily swept. There's only one word for that - magic darts! After two rounds, and playing man-down, The Ship was leading 9-3. We couldn’t have had more excitement if Elvis had walked in the door and asked for a chip sandwich.

Their team was clearly rattled, as they took an extended vacation to plot strategy for D501. Their players were under so much duress, it was like Duressic Park out there. The looked about as happy as a penguin in a microwave, and they were starting to sweat like a swamp donkey. Fred / Darian went back out on a roll, and their eyes were bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch. But they were caught at the end and surprisingly dropped the first game. Dave got himself and Michael in with a quick double-in. If you had to throw a knife at your wife in the circus, you'd want to throw it like that. Michael quickly closed out the game for the win, leaving Rich to play Canadian-style in the final game. Rich doubled-in on his first dart, and managed to knock off about 100 points before the other team doubled-in. But, they caught up quickly, with the benefit of throwing six darts for every three we threw. But Rich managed to stay close, snapping at their heels like an alligator with a toothache. They made a critical error and ended up with a score of five, and a few busts later, Rich had a shot at a 32-out. He missed his first two chances at it, but their team missed their next six shots at doubling-out on four. Rich returned to the line and threw a 16-8-double 4 for the upset win, and a final score of 13-5 for The Ship.

Props:
Dave / Darian - The Justin Morneau and Joe Mauer of the MVP race.
Michael - A sweep for the Derek Jeter of the MVP race.
Sid Waddell - The Godfather of darts commentary.

Ship: Cultural Learnings of Bars for Make Benefit Glorious Sport of Darts

Jagshemash.  Our name Ship.  The NYD and O send us to Intersnet to write a story about darts.  It very similar to Kazah sport, shurik, where we take dogs, shoot them in a field and then have a party.  Please, you read, or I be execute.

Michael started off the night winning the first game.  Great success!  But the next four games were not good for us, with four losses in a row.  We will put these players now in a sack in the river.  Then John make sexytime and win to make score 2-4.

Ship won four games in Cricket.  High five!  Michael / John and Rich / Andrew win one game each.  Wow wow wee waa!  Then Dave / Mindy play two-on one.  Very nice, very nice!  They win, and the scores is all tieds.

Please we will now have 10 minutes silence.

Michael / Dave were very niiice in games of D501, winning strongly.  Then Andrew / Mindy and Rich / John won many games... NOT!  We lose 10-8, but our team is still the number one exporter of potassium, and other dart teams have inferior potassium.

Props:Dave - For wrestling Azamat.

Braley Defeats Truman

Halfway through the season, the NYDO held its own version of the mid-term elections.  Endorsed by all the major local publications and running on a platform of kicking-ass, The Ship was looking to consolidate its power with a win. 

The early returns indicated a close race was brewing.  The exit polls showed three wins for The Ship, along with three losses.  But as the vote totals rolled in, things started to look bad for the incumbents.  Rich / Andrew dropped two games to open Cricket.  But Michael / Darian turned things around with two impressive landslide wins.  John / Nacho hit some trouble in the last round, and The Ship needed a rally, as they were down 7-5 heading into D501.

John / Nacho opened D501 with a really close game, but got edged out in the end.  Darian / Michael continued their perfect nights in game two with a convincing bipartisan victory.  But, The Ship was forced to deliver a concession speech and accept a 7-11 loss when Rich / Andrew were voted out of office in the final game.  

Props:Darian / Michael - For taking back both the House and the Senate.
Bruce Braley - For one more win than John on Tuesday.

He Said With a Grin

There once was a team named The Ship
Who quite enjoy darts and a quip.
They have a few laughs
as they pull out their shafts
and offer the waitress a tip.

At Dempsey's we had lots of fun
as each of us threw at least a ton.
On beers we got blotto
while Fred ate Jeollodo
and four Singles games were won.

The teams moved on to play Cricket
and all of the ass in the room, Ship did kick it.
We needed five cork
but Rich just held his dork
While thrice down the pipe Turner did stick it.

In Doubles things turned for the worse
save Michael carrying Dave like a purse.
We won only one game
and we came up quite lame
Suddenly struck by a Halloween curse.

Throughout the night we had our kicks
Heidi chipped in with dirty limericks.
The rhymes were low class
and we laughed off our ass
As The Ship won the match twelve to six.

Props:
Dave - For a sweep, and saving money.

DartsBack

The Ship is bringin' Darts back!  Them other teams don't know how to act.  This week we played Fitzgerald's and that's a fact.  We're in first place, we better watch our back.  So sit down and I'll give  up the recap!  Get your Darts on.  Go 'head be gone with it. 

First, let me set the mood.  It was a rainy night outside, but it was hot inside.   The Ship was burnin' up, and we gotta get it fast!  A scheduling snafu left us with an open spot, and we needed to me make up for the things we lacked.  But we truly brought darts back early on, with consecutive wins in S501 from Rich, Andrew, John, Nacho and Darian.  Unfortunately, I got whipped because I misbehaved, so we were docked 1 point, but still up 5-1. 

(Take em' to the Cricket!)

Well, what goes around...comes around.  In round two, we yelled "Come here girl!" and Mindy came out to get her darts on.  But, despite an opening win from Rich / Andrew and a closing win from John / Nacho, we lost the rest of the games.  Suddenly, our lead slipped down to 7-5, and we were losing our way.

(Take em' to the Doubles 501!)

The sexy ladies (Mindy / Darian) started things off in D501, but couldn't close it out.  Dirty babes...  John / Nacho were DartStoned ( which is a bad thing) in game two, resulting in a loss.  But, Rich / Andrew were able to chop it up in game three and pull out a win, making the final score a 9-9 tie.  Next week we play FutureDarts and make DartsSounds.  You ready? Yes.

Props:Mindy - Way to pick up the slack.

Smokin'

Day is night in New York City, and Tuesday is dart night for The Ship, so come hitch a ride and head for the other side.  This season it's easy for The Ship, and we're ready because it's a party as long as we're there.

We began the journey with wins from Michael and Rich before the engines cooled a little and Andrew dropped a game.  It's been such a long time since Darian has played, but that didn't stop her from walking in, stepping up and posting a win, highlighted by a unique 5-9-D5 out with 24 on the board.  John's win in the final game gave us even more peace of mind, and we ended S501 up 4-2, and The Ship didn't look back.

Rich / Andrew were cookin' tonight, with a sweep in two Cricket games (I'm not jokin').  There was something about Darian / Mindy on this Tuesday.  When they got up on the stage and got ready to play, they won their first game, and nearly won both games, save for some lucky bulls from the other team.  Everybody was gettin' crazy and anticipating love and music from Michael / John, and they delivered a split for an 8-4 Ship lead after Cricket.  But everything up until this point was just foreplay, and we were about to be feeling satisfied.

Darian / Mindy launched us into D501 with a win in game one.  Michael / John picked us up and took us away with a win in game two.  And Rich / Andrew showed some sweet delight with a win in the last game that sent us home tonight.  The D501 sweep made the final score a 14-4 Ship win.  Good times (and faces that remind me.)

Props:
Darian - Welcome back.  You've got to keep on chasin' that dream.
Rich - A sweep.  Keep on tokin'.

Don't Mess With The Bull...

Principal Vernon said it best, and now The Ship knows... don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.  This is difficult advice to follow when playing darts, but even with our very own bullfighter on the squad, we managed to cause quite a ruckus this week in our match against The Matadors. 

We hit the ground running like it was Pamplona, with both teams wanting to get started right away.  But it wasn't long before "milkchugger" Rich found himself gored, taken down by a the first of many randomly flying spears.  Luckily, Michael and Dave brought their red capes and were able to wave them and pick up two wins.  John and Andrew were also shocked with their losses, but with "automatic" Nacho's win in the final game, The Ship limped away from S501 in a 3-3 tie.  Being bad does not feel pretty good. 

Dave / Michael started Cricket with a stutter, resulting in two hits in the loss column.  In round two, Rich / Andrew dropped the first game, causing them to seriously consider pursuing a career in the custodial arts.  However, they were able to bounce back and take game two.  In the final round, a naked blonde walked into the bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender said, "I guess you won't be needing a drink," and the naked lady said that John / Nacho swept their final two games, making the score 6-6 going into D501.

Looking to salvage some semblance of respect for the night, Dave / Michael put up an early win for The Ship.  John / Nacho were taken down in game two, but Andrew / Rich pulled out a win in the final game to secure a queasy 10-8 win for The Ship.

Props:NYDO - For mercifully awarding The Ship a 14-4 win when the Matadors were docked 5 points for an unregistered player.

Alll Righty Then

The Ship is the world's darts leader. This is the recap it deserves.  Seen out and about this week - The Ship bringing its XY game out to the Ace Bar. Or, as Ace Venture might say, Holy Testicle Tuesday!

The all-macho lineup started out well for The Ship, with Rich and Michael sailing through the opening two games.  But then, we suddenly began to play as though there were a Naked Raygun pointed at our heads, and we surprisingly dropped four games in a row.  Suddenly we were in search of a win... and a clean pair of shorts.

I'm going to take a short time out of the write-up to go speak to myself.  If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer.

Rich / Andrew opened Cricket with a win n a close game, and then shanked it in the second game, struggling with darts that were clearly not "laces out," and sending them wide of the bullseye.  Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.  In game two, Michael / Dave played one of the all time greats.  In an epic battle, they staged a huge comeback and nearly won game two by hitting clutch bulls.  Unfortunately, it wasn't to be, but they did earn a split.  Fred / John played together in a perfect fit, and bailed us out in the final round, sweeping two games and tying the match at six-all.

I'm going to take a another break, to go psyche myself up for the big finish.  If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer.

Entering the wee hours of the morning, Fred / John headed back out but lost a close game in which neither team could find Captain Winkie to end the game.  Dave / Michael exorcised the demons in game two, securing a big win.  But in the final game, Rich / Andrew had some trouble getting in, and lost with the "Dart Heard Round The World."  Hopefully the 10-8 loss won't turn us into the Mayor of Psychoville.

Props:Michael - 3 wins, endless bulls.  You must be tired of being right.

Tears for Spears

The darts world was abuzz with excitement as the teams unveiled their new looks for the Fall 2006 season.  For The Ship, a retro look is the new new thing this season, with a throwback lineup that includes OGs Dave & Darian, and a lineup that is more reminiscent of 2001 than 2005.  So let's kick it old school and show these youngsters how things were done back in the day. 

It took the old engine a few turns to get revved up this season, as Rich and Michael dropped the first two games out of the box.  But once the old girl got running, there was no stopping her.  John posted a win and a Ton-29, and Dave picked up where he left off over two years ago with a win.  And in the last two rounds, the familiar names of Andrew and Mindy picked up the final two wins, to give The Ship a 4-2 lead.

With a new season came the first controversy of the season.  Rich / Andrew were accused of showing disrespect in game one of their match, leading to some heated words.  But Rich / Andrew really showed no respect in game two, as they rolled to an easy victory and earned a split.  The throwback squad of Dave / Michael stepped up in round two and staked a claim as the team to beat this season with an easy sweep.  John / Mindy were dogged by some off season rust and dropped two games, but The Ship was still holding a solid 7-5 lead after two rounds.  But, the best was yet to come.

The juggernaut of Dave / Michael kicked off D501 with a win, as Michael got the team in and Dave hit a dpuble-20 on his first try for the win.  John / Mindy kicked off the rust and played a determined match in game two.  Despite falling far behind, they refused to quit, and went from hearing midget footsteps to posting a victory.  Rich / Andrew played a solid game in the final round, and when Andrew hit a double-7 to win it, The Ship had swept D501 and walked away with a commanding 13-5 win over Britney's Spears to open the season.

Props:Dave - No losses would be...perfection.

Hungary For the Playoffs

As the last week of the season rolled around, The Ship's position in the playoffs was secured. While we might have been more hungry for sushi than for a win this week, we still came to play. Citibank came to play in S501, as Nacho "libre-ed" a comeback win, followed by a win from Fred. We managed a few wins in Cricket, from Rich Andrew (2) and Nacho / Mindy (1), who played two fantastic games. At that point, we pretty much mailed it in and set our sights on the playoffs, as we dropped the last five games we played, including all of the D501. Despite the 5-13 loss, we finished the season solidly in third place, and with a season-long theme that every newspaper in America decided to rip off. (Click to continue...)

Andorrable But Deadly

The members of the Dendrobatidae family are distinguished by their beautiful, brightly colored skin. They may be tiny, and they are frequently strikingly beautiful, but these deadly amphibians are not to be taken lightly. Just like the Dendrobatidae, some members of The Ship are beautiful, but capable of throwing deadly darts. (Click to continue...)

How Sweden It Is

On June 6, 1523, Gustav Vasa was elected King of Sweden, which ultimately give birth to a new nation. Exactly four hundred and twenty three years later, on June 6, 1946, the Basketball Association of America was formed, which ultimately gave birth to the NBA. Only twenty six years after this, on June 6, 1969, the first Internet connection was created, which ultimately gave birth to the Full of Ship website. On this June 6, The Ship gave birth to a Björn Borg-like win. (Click to continue...)

Down to the Wireland

Amongst the lush green vistas of the Emerald Isle lies County Cork, who's motto is "a safe harbour for ships". This week The Ship found itself back in its own safe harbor, amongst a plethora of corks. (Click to continue...)

Zimba-BYE Week

No game this week.

Come Back To Jamaica

Watching the Yankees fall behind by nine runs early in the evening was a surreal event. But we always know that it take many games, mon, an' maybe some bloodshed mus' be, but righteousness someday prevail. So it was with the Bombers, and so it was with The Ship - righteousness prevails. (Click to continue...)

Shake Your Bhutan

This week, The Ship headed far north into Land of the Thunder Dragon, a part of Manhattan long ruled by chaos and hostility. Under the watchful eye of the Council of Ministers who were on hand to observe, we entered the mysterious land for a traditional game of khuru with the locals. (Click to continue...)

Thailand

After traveling up and down the far east, this week The Ship settled down squarely in the middle of the seedy heart of Thailand. Yes, from Soi Cowboy to a "soapie," that sketchy underbelly of the world offers every form of prostitution available, but in this case we didn't receive such a "happy ending". (Click to continue...)

Kicking Some Estonia

According to scientific theory, human settlement in Estonia became possible when the ice from the last glacial era melted away 11,000–13,000 years ago. And just like Estonia, The Ship thawed out this week, melting away the cold streak that had enveloped us earlier in the season. (Click to continue...)

Laos-y Night

The Ship returned home this week, but our game remained mired in southeast Asia. And just like the Yankees and the Rangers, it felt like we got trounced by a million elephants. (Click to continue...)

My Oh Myanmar

The Ship hit the road this week, looking to keep the momentum going from its first win of the season. With a swift and strong effort, we had a chance to make our mark on the league. (Click to continue...)

Hey! Ho! Lesotho!

It has been a rough couple of weeks to start the season, as The Ship searches for its groove. Back at home this week, we hoped to escape from our enclave and rise to new heights. Luckily, we ran into a team with only four players, which seriously helped us in our bid to turn around the season. (Click to continue...)

Uganda Be Kidding

This week the journey required a few extra legs, as we trekked all the way down to Essex Street to play. Although Rich and Rebecca had recently returned from the homeland of darts (and even saw The Power versus Barney while in a pub), they were suffering from serious jet leg, which led to much mid-match napping. (Click to continue...)

Ready for Samoa?

Welcome aboard, Shipmates. Have your passports open and your boarding passes ready, as we hit the road once again for our eleventh World Tour. So pack your bags, it's time to hit the road. (Click to continue...)

You Oughta Be In Pictures

As you can tell from the season's worth of snapshots (and the "complete" team photo to the right), you oughta be in pictures, you’re wonderful to see. And, as proven by our outstanding season-long performance, you oughta be in the playoffs (and you are). (Click to continue...)

Caught In The Camera Eye

All the world’s indeed a stage, and we are merely dart players. Sitting in first place in the subdivision (in the basement bars...), The Ship is truly living in a fisheye lens, caught in the camera eye. Catch the mist, catch the myth, catch the mystery, catch The Ship. (Click to continue...)